Thursday, September 15, 2011

Thursday Letter: Shermon Minton Bridge

I'm always writing letters in my mind... to people, to things, to events, to just about anything.  So I'm going to take my Thursdays & make it a day to write a letter... you'll never know who, or WHAT, you'll see a letter to.

Today's letter goes to the Sherman Minton Bridge...

For those of you that dont live around here, its a bridge that has shut down because of cracks in it - it has messed up our world around her... I'm talking MESSED UP!!!!!

Dear Poor Little Sherman Minton Bridge,

I'm sorry you have a crack in you, but I hope you know that your little crack has caused a HUGE crack in my mind.

With this crack, we now have to send 80,000 people over the other bridge that connects Indiana & Kentucky.  And it seems those 80,000 people are heading over at the same time of the morning. 

Mr. Bridge, you must really smile to see all of us sitting dead still at 5:30 am, thinking that we must really miss you... & I do!  I get all sniffly thinking about how much I miss you.  Afterall, I now have to get up at 4:30 am - & its changing my life!  I have to get to bed at 9 pm & this is messing up my TV time - & you know how much I love my TV time!  I didnt even get to see the Finale of Big Brother last night.  And how am I going to live without Private Practice when it comes back on?  Or even my Housewives of New Jersey?  I gotta have my dose of Joe & Melissa to get me through the week.

I also now get to start my morning in a horrible mood.  Afterall, when you sit in traffic at 5:00 am - 6 am with the other 79,999 people of the area, it doesnt make you think of rainbows & butterflies.  No, it makes you think of getting out of still-cars & kicking someone's car in & yelling at them for cutting in front of you when you've sat there for 10 minutes & havent moved but an inch.  But then telling them that Jesus loves them & to have a good day.... gotta keep a Christian attitude in all this...

There is a rumor going around about what really caused this crack... I'm hoping this is just a rumor.  I'd hate to think that the next thing that could come will be the Marshmellow man from Ghostbusters.

Mr Bridge, they are saying this could go on for up to a year.. if not you know if you have insurance to cover my mental health bills that are going to come in from this whole experience?  I know you're the one that needs repairs, but I think I'm going to need repairs for my heart attack waiting to happen & my stay at the local "resort" (which is code for a place that has padded walls).

I have to let you know as well that this bridge closing is affecting my health.  I'm now not able to drink lots of water, or even DIET COKE, during the day because I know I have a trip to go home & you never know how long you can be stuck on the road.  Do you know I'm turning 40 this year & my bladder doesnt hold as well as it used to?  And forget about thinking of eating something heavy before hitting the road... these are just nightmare situations waiting to happen....

Can you please pass word to the local news stations too that they too are adding to our sanity when they tell us to take an "Alternate route".... because there are only so many ways to cross a river.  So if they mean by "Alternate route" some sort of contrapation that can carry me across water, then there's only one other option to go.  I'm thinking of buying a raft, or a kayak...I'd swim across if it wasnt for all the drug needles, traces of cocaine, & probably occasional stray dead body that would hit me in the head.

I never realized how much we needed you ... I'm sorry I didnt say it to you earlier... but as soon as those roads are open (WHENEVER that is) I'll be sure to shout a big HALLELUJAH as I'm riding across your back.  Never again will I take you for granted.

Hope to see you soon... very soon...

Missing you,

Your biggest fan
Rebecca Jo


  1. Huh oh, your background is weird again...

    It's too bad carpooling isn't something that could be organized. Or buses, park on one side of the bridge and everyone goes across on a bus to...oh wait...

  2. Man, that just stinks!

    Glad they're keeping y'all safe, but hope it doesn't take too long to fix!

    Try listening to a good book on CD while in traffic...My Name is Memory and Water for Elephants were great ones to listen to, and got me to/from work plenty of times.

    Good luck, sweetie (and thank goodness for DVR, right?)

  3. I love the alternate route map. Can that go any further out of the way? Sheesh.

    Here's to the bridge getting done SOON!

  4. What a lovely heartfelt letter. Did you print it and mail it to Mr. Bridge? I do feel your pain though. Sometimes I'm stuck behind a school bus and it takes me 6 minutes to get to work. Ugh!!! And I think, "Why is God punishing me"?
    Your Friend, m.
    p.s. Didn't we hand over 80 billion dollars to Obama to fix that bridge two years ago? m.

  5. You are a gifted writer my friend! Praying for your sanity! ;)

  6. LOL!! What a hysterical post, Rebecca! So sorry about your long commute time!! Grrr.


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