We made it through the weekend...
I knew this was going to be a tough one. Ricky avoids being at home at all costs because it just doesn't feel the same with Sydney gone, so I knew it was going to be hard on him to not have work to escape to.
Friday started with a kick in the gut when I got the phone call our babies ashes were at the vet to be picked up. I will say, Faithful Companions was so kind & caring. They called me on Thursday to let me know that they had Sydney with them, told me when she would be cremated & extended sympathies. I thought that was so kind. They called me on Friday to let me know they would be delivering her ashes back to the vet by the afternoon for us to pick up. I am grateful they took the time to keep me informed. I stopped & got her ashes on the way home & was surprised when they had even made a clay mold with Sydney's paw print in it.
It even has her hair tucked in the clay...
I took it straight home & baked it so it would harden. I didn't want to mess it up in any way...
Bless Ricky's heart... he didn't want to see it... didn't even want to know I got Sydney's ashes.
Saturday, I had a baby shower to go to & I felt bad leaving Ricky at home by himself & asked him to come with me but once he was home, he didn't want to leave. He was too upset to get in the 'real world'... I understood totally....
But it was good for my heart to get out with my cousin & celebrate her upcoming baby. It felt good to just get in the car & drive... & drive... & drive...
Goodness gracious - that shower was a long way from my home. It was about an hour drive, but it was a beautiful day, so I had the windows down, wind blowing my hair & singing to my Chris Tomlin CD all the way.
I even felt like I hit the lottery when I found gas for $3.15 a gallon. WHAT? I felt like jumping up & down when I spent $50.00 on filling up my gas tank when its usually like $65.00 #winning
The shower was so nice. I rarely get to see my cousin's 'other side' & they are just the cutest little family. I shouldn't say little. There are tons of them on that side. I'm the 'little side'... about the only time the word 'little' can apply to me. I'm the only girl cousin (first cousin) on Jasmine's side, so I had to represent! :) Our other cousin - which I'm not sure which kinda cousin she is, she's my dad's cousin, so does that make her my 2nd cousin? I get so confused... we'll just call her the AWESOME cousin. Makes it easier. It was just the 2 of us from Jasmine's dad side of the family. It was great seeing her again though. We were able to sit & chat & catch up on the latest in the family & just talk about old times. I love that lady. I need to find more time to spend with her.
I ended up leaving the shower as a co-winner in a competition to make a baby out of play-doh. I had no idea I could even be creative.... but look at my baby, complete with a baby bottle, a diaper, a belly button, a balloon that says, I love mom & even has hair that looks just like her momma's hair when she was born. I remember.. I was there. The hair is what won it for me I believe :)
My momma always taught me I can't leave a shower unless I'm a winner of a game. We take baby showers seriously.
Sunday, Ricky didn't go to church. He said he couldn't handle anyone saying anything to him about Sydney, so I went to Merge without him. It was probably good he didn't go. I even teared up with hugs.
I was glad though he was ready to go out when I got home to get something to eat. We both had to suck in the tears when Ricky prayed over our food & he said, "God, please let Sydney not miss us as much as we miss her"... we both just did that, tilt your head back so tears don't run out of your eye-kinda-move... oh mercy...
Heading home, Ricky said, this is what I hate the most. Going home to a house without her.
Its tough... but we survived the first weekend without her.
Ricky had fantasy football to keep his mind busy on Sunday.
I had knitting to keep me going. I keep saying its my therapy. I think God brought my knit loom into my life just in time for me to keep my hands & mind busy.
I've made 3 cowls since Wednesday trying to keep myself from thinking too hard, too much...
Ricky asked me if I'm making them for Christmas & I tell him, that was the intent... until I finished them & I want to keep them all :)
Everyone's been asking me how the dogs have been.
With Zoe, its hard to tell - she's such a loner & always sticks to herself.
Harvey - I think he's too ADD & hyper to notice... although this morning, he got in the spot Sydney laid on the bed & he just pouted there this morning. I couldn't get him to play... totally not like Harvey. I think he's realizing something is different....
Bruno is the one that shocks me. Sydney never really had anything to do with him & he just is sad. He just shakes & follows me around & if I stop, he claws at me, wanting me to hold him. I think he misses her presence... & I think he can feel our sadness.
But, as my life verse reminds me ... I look forward to what lies ahead.... we are pressing on. (Phil 3:13-14)
How was your weekend?
Did you make a play-doh baby?
What do you do to keep your mind busy?