Friday, June 29, 2007

Sanctus Real

For a Friday - a little bit of Great Christian Music!

Thursday, June 28, 2007

How Wierd is this!

I got one of those email that asks questions, you are to fill out, send it back to the person & to others to learn more about each other. I always find something interesting on them about people.
Do you remember your bus number from school (I actually did! - 526)
What's your favorite food?
Where were you when the twin towers collapsed?
Your first childhood memory?
.......stuff like of the questions was "Name a dream that you can remember". I have the same sort of recurring dream. I am back in high school with all the faces I can remember & I am freaking out because I can't remember my locker combination for ANYTHING! I get so frustrated! Then, I'm also in a panic because I can't find my schedule & I dont know what class to go to next. In my dream, I'm always going to the office to get a copy of my schedule and/or locker combo - and then I loose it and it happens all over again. WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN?

The wierd part of this story - I put my dream down on the questionaire. I get an email from a friend from church who says she has the SAME DREAM!!!! Do I hear the Twilight Zone music playing somewhere in the background? How wierd is that? What are the odds? Now I'm ALL curious as to what this dream means. At least if it tells me I'm crazy - I know I'm not alone! We'll be crazy together Amy!!!

Wednesday, June 27, 2007


I love storms! I think they are fascinating & beautiful to watch. I guess it goes back to when I was young - my dad would take me outside in a storm & we would sit under a covered back porch & get a clear tarp and cover up with it, but still able to see all the action. The more forceful the wind, the better time we had. If a tornado watch or warning would come across, my mom would scream for us to get in the basement, but me & dad would be so excited to see if we could catch a glimpse of a funnel cloud. Maybe not too smart - but it instilled in me the amazing thing that is "nature".

I was at a friends last night & the lightening kicked in & the thunder rolled. On the drive home, there are such clear views of the sky - I almost had to pull over to watch. The sky was like a big curtain & you could see the sheets of raining falling. It was beautiful. I sure do enjoy watching, listening & even smelling storms (nothing like the smell of fresh rain) - but they do cause damages & that's the down side of them. The force behind a storm is something we can't compete with - a storm is going to do what its going to do - no matter what we want. I guess its the same thing when we have our own personal storms. They come in our lives, do some damage & nothing we can do can stop them sometimes. I guess the trick in that is we need to find beauty in even these storms. Learned lessons - relationship builders - a closeness with God we never knew before. Beauty comes in all forms.

On a quick note about Buffy - the vet asperated (is that the word?) her knot & she said she didn't seem too worried. It was full of oils & fat cells - but we are to keep an eye on it & see if it grows. If it does, we are to get her in to take have it removed immediately. So let's pray it is nothing. The test for me will be not to check it every minute of the day. The vet said to just check it weekly. This is going to be a test of resistence for me. If I could, I would walk around with my hand on it to see if it grows every minute. A little obsessive compulsive - maybe - but its my big baby.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Having a Freak-out Day!

I've started my morning at the doctor for my hand. The past few weeks, the pain has been almost unbearable. Needless to say, after being poked, thumped & x-rayed - they really have no answers. They have "ideas" but nothing stands out. I'm supposed to start physical therapy July 12th to see if that helps. Pray it does!

But during the visit, the doctor literally dropped my hands & started rubbing my skin on my arms. He asked me questions about any medications I may be on (none) & then he asked me if anyone has seen my skin before. He pointed out these little red "freckles" all over my arms. I never really thought much of it before - but he seemed very concerned. He told me to go to my Primary Physician right away to have it checked out. I told him he had to tell me something because now, I'm freaked out. He said they are caused by bleeding under the skin. Looking - I have HUNDREDS on my arms - & now I see them all over my legs & chest. Isn't it funny I never noticed them before? Needless to say, I'm awaiting a call back from my dermatologist to see when she can get me in...........and all this has to happen quickly - I'm loosing my health insurance in 2 months. After being at my job for 15 years, yes, they are taking away our health insurance. WOW! I'm starting to feel a little panic right now.

To top the morning off - my yellow lab, Buffy - Ricky found a knot on her back hip. Its pretty big, a tad smaller than a golf ball - & she doesnt like for you to touch it - but its not making her limp or stopping her from running. I'm a nervous wreck over this. My doggies are big babies to me. If this is something serious - we're talking a complete freak-out - full force!! So, I'm waiting for more doctor's appointments for me, & planning a vet trip tonight for my fur-baby.

I'm feeling very anxious & nervous today. I dont like feeling like this - completely out of control! I guess I just need to once again hand the reigns over & put my faith in the One who is in Control. But darn it, that still doesnt take the butterflies away from my gut right now!

Monday, June 25, 2007

Slip and Slide!!

What a fun day Sunday! First, we had our new Senior Pastor give his first "offical" sermon - & it was wonderful! Great to see our new leader stand up there & give such a message that is to prepare us for the road that is ahead - its going to be fantastic! You could feel the energy in our church - words cant even explain it!

Onto the "ranch" for our church cookout to celebrate our new Minister & his family. It was rainy but it didn't keep people away. There is a barn on the property that was perfect - it held everyone nicely, plenty of room, plenty of food - it was very nice. The rain came (no one was too upset - we needed it) & everyone stayed dry & enjoyed their afternoon.

I say everyone stayed dry - but I guess that isn't true. There was a 30 foot slip and slide that was provided. Kids were lined up, standing in the rain getting wet already. A few of us went up to watch with our umbrellas up so we wouldnt get wet. Yeah - that didn't last long. One of the girls from my Junior High Youth group conned me in getting a little too close. Next thing I know - my arms & legs are being picked up & the water hose is being sprayed all over me. So much for staying dry! Why not - I'm already soaked - I'm heading down the slip and slide. First time, not too good - had to try again! Second time - I dont know what the heck happened - I think I did a triple axle off my head & flew off the side. All was well & I had to try it again! By the 3rd time, I was a slipping expert! Next thing I see is more adults jumping in - even got Lindsay to join (& she just had on a tank top and MINI SKIRT! - where this is a will, there is a way!) Yes, all the adults had to wait patiently in line with the kids - but I dont know who was more excited between the two of us! It's always good to throw all caution to the wind & act & play like a child - you seem to forget all the cares of the world when you're in that moment. This morning - HMM, a different story, I'M SORE!!!! (I guess you can't ever really shake your creeping age! - DARN!)

On a side note - all us wet ones just had to induct our new pastor down the slide - but he was a great sport about going down the slipperly slope. He was like all of us - once you were wet and did it once, why not do it again and again? Life's short - enjoy it!

On one more side note - we were NOT planning on doing this - so the ride home was not very pleasant for me and Lindsay! I think my car seats are STILL drying out today!

I hope everyone always keeps the attitude of a child - it just makes life so much more fun!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Time to go Backwards

Yesterday was the longest day of the year. I always look so forward to the days where there is still light out at 9:00 (or later). I just enjoy the light of the day so much. The sun will start setting one minute earlier each day starting today & man, I notice. In the next few weeks, it'll be 8:00, then before you know it 7:00 when it starts to get dark. I get so down in the dumps when that happens. Forget about it when the clocks fall back and its dark by 5:30 - I'm ready to move to Alaska (or wherever it is that has the 24 hrs of daylight!) I sat by a window last night knitting on Amber's blanket (1 more skein left!) & just enjoyed the longest day & the light that was outside my window. The sky still had color to it at 9:57 - Oh Happy Day!

I guess you can put so many comparisons with light & dark & the meaning of Christ being our light in the darkness. Can't you feel the difference?- the warmth and the life the sun (Son) gives us. Praise the Lord for the Light!

Thursday, June 21, 2007


Its a boy! We're having a grandson! Ricky is very excited - visioning cheering this little one on at every sport a boy can play. Isaac Lee will be his name. Its so good to finally know (even though we said all along it was a boy!) He is healthy & mommy Julie is doing just fine! Good news to be had by all. He is 11 ounces & a little above average for his size. Julie's probably freaking out a little at that idea - she's the one who has to give birth to this baby! It'll all be good! Can't wait to see this little boy's face & kiss it all over! My mom is laying money now that he has red hair like Pappy V! We'll have to wait & see!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The baby is.....

I DONT KNOW!!! Today, we find out what our grand baby is going to be. We are all so excited! Its not easy to find alot of neutral things out there so Nanny & Pappy (me & Ricky) will be thrilled to finally know what sex to shop for! More importantly, it'll be good to make sure the baby is coming along healthy and perfect - all fingers & toes and all that good stuff! The appointment is early this morning but darn Texas time is an hour behind. Lift up a prayer for this baby, & mommy Julie & daddy Steve as they get to experience a great day today! I'll let you know what the baby is as soon as I find out! (My money's on a boy!)

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Prince William & Harry

Did anyone see the special with Prince William & Prince Harry speaking for the first time together? I was so anxious to watch it. Why? I guess because I have seen these two men since they've been born. My mom woke me up the morning Charles & Diana got married. It was around 4:30 am & my mom told me "This is history". I can remember sitting in mom's bed watching this with the eyes of every little girl imagining her wedding day. Watching William being born & him crawling in front of the camera, & then later, the "spare" Harry coming into the world. We did watch them grow up. Then the tragedy of their mom dying & we watched them grieve following their mom's casket. How could anyone's heart not break seeing the card that said "Mummy" on her basket amid her favorite flowers? It's wild to see them as grown men now & to think how much time has gone by. Why the obsession with them? Could you imagine if your life was in the public spotlight all the time - everything you did - every mistake you made? I feel so badly when people are so judgemental of them. Wouldnt it be a different story if the people who judged, if their lives were put on the front page of papers? Like they said in the interview last night - they didn't ask for this - they were born into it. The most impressing thing for me - the thing that shows these boys do have a level head - they were most thrilled that they have a roof over their head. Now, they live in a palace, and they're happy they have shelter. Matt Lauer had said that they must have learned that from their mother - after seeing so many who dont have the privliges they have - they understand the blessings they have, even in its simpliest form. Wouldnt their mom be so proud? I guess I'll always be protective of these boys in some sense. The world loved their mom - why wouldnt they love these boys?

And if there was any way I could, I'd let them know I have 2 more daughters that aren't married that would be perfect for them (Holla!)

Monday, June 18, 2007

You Are Holy!

That's always been one of my favorite songs. I think I hounded Barry for MONTHS to get this song back in circulation for the Band. Its awesome to hear the men and women singing different lines but coming together at the end - its awesome! This song has a whole new meaning with it.

On Mother's Day, Steph was pretty much bed-ridden. Julie McDill & her friend Tim has stopped by & him being a worship minister, had brought his guitar. He was singing praises to our Lord which Steph loved more than anything! He asked for a request - "You are Holy!" was requested by all. Next thing, there was at least 15-20 people in the room singing this song with all the reverence to our Lord that could be had! Steph lit up the room with the joy she had for the Lord. Here she was struggling for breath and strength to move - and she sat up, propped her arm on the hospital tray and raised her hand to worship God, along with a foot hanging over the bed tapping her toe to the beat. We got done - had so much fun - her next request "Again!" - so once again, we sang to the top of our lungs. It may not have been the best sounding "technical" song ever heard - but I know God felt our praise for Him and the love we were sending to Steph singing in her room.

Move forward to this past Sunday - the words come on the screen and the music starts. "You are Holy" strummed out of the guitar. I looked at Ricky - Amber looked down the aisle to Ryan - Rollie and Jack just stared forward. The words couldn't come for any of us. Tears came instead. I know in my mind, I was reliving singing this song with my friend - I can imagine the images that were going through the kids heads at that moment.

One song brought 6 people to their knees Sunday - all with memories of a wonderful friend, wife, mother who meant to much to us all.

Fathers Day!

A day to celebrate our Father's! I got to take my dad to dinner & give him a few gifts that put a smile on his face. I always love spending time with my parents. I do feel blessed I have both my parents still here with me. Ricky misses his dad more than ever on Father's Day. He's been gone 17 years now. I can't imagine my life without either one of my parents. A life lesson I can put off learning about. I had to remind the girls in jr. high youth though that its always good to remember that our Heavenly Father is always to be celebrated - not just on Father's Day - and because He is our Father - what does that make us? Oh yeah - a PRINCESS, since our Father is the King of Kings! How can that not make us smile!

Ricky got to spend time with Lindsay who came over and made his favorite - no bake oatmeal cookies. I can see the traces of him in her all the time - especially when me and her got talking and I said, "Whats that sound" and she took off running to the oven forgetting she had butter on melting - (it was boiling) - yes, I saw Ricky and his ADD in that moment. There is a little bit of him in all 3 girls. Alaina and Julie gave their dad a ring on the phone since they're both out of towner's and it made his day to hear from all 3 of his babies. He had the best Fathers Day though because he got to see "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" last night with Lindsay. A super hero movie - nothing can make a day better for him!

So I hope all the dads out there felt honored and enjoyed their day. I know I love and appreciate my dad for everything he's done for me - always making me feel like his baby girl no matter what age I am. Always treating me like the Princess!

Friday, June 15, 2007

Gotta love Comedy!

I'm so excited! The new season of "Last Comic Standing" has started. I dont know why I'm excited because every year, my favorite doesn't win - but at least I get laughs throughout the season. I liked that the judges kicked out alot of the people that had the raunchy, tasteless jokes! Why do people feel like they have to make jokes dirty or curse in them to make them funny? One of the funnest nights I ever had was a Christian Comedy Concert with Mark Lowry and Chonda Pierce with a bunch of other comedians. Me & Ricky took my parents & we had front row, center seats. There is just nothing like laughter! There's nothing like watching your parents laugh so hard too! We left with stomachs literally aching! All clean, good, FUNNY jokes! I was raised in a Baptist church so to hear jokes about different demoniations and have a room full of God-loving people laughing ALONG with it - Too much fun!

I'm an easy "laugh-er" & its funny because it takes ALOT to get Ricky to really get a gut-laugh. But its amazing when something strikes him & he gets those Gut-aching/tear-stained-cheek laughs. Isn't it funny how God gives us all different senses of humor? I can laugh till I'm screaming & look at Ricky & hear him say, "Is wasn't that funny" - ahhh, opposite attract!.

I truly love to laugh more than anything! So I'll be watching this season & trying to find the funniest again this year - & then jinx them by liking them - that means they wont win!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

4 weeks = 1 month

Wow - its 4 weeks ago today Steph left us. Sometimes it feels like forever & other days it feels like yesterday. I did the other day what everyone said I would the mail came a new knitting magazine that I just subscribed to. When I pulled it out of the box, the first thing that popped in my mind, "Alright, new patterns, I have to call Steph & tell her it came in" - man, that stopped me right in my tracks. I just wanted to throw the magazine away after that. Ricky did the same thing, wanting to call Steph when he saw John Elway on a TV show. (Steph ADORED her Bronco's!) Life is not the same without her! I so wish I saved a message on my answering machine just so I could hear her voice every day! I'm so mad I deleted them. You dont realize how significant little things can mean until its too late.

Me & Nina were talking the other night & we were laughing that Steph couldnt be bothered with knitting magazines or John Elway news because she was too busy walking & talking with Jesus! Oh, what a image! I can just picture her laughing with Jesus & the conversations they must be having!

Jack went out to dinner with us this past weekend & he was telling us how we were the "Fantastic Four". We had so much fun together over the years! Vacations, concerts, dinners, family gatherings, just hanging out, game nights.....oh the memories. Praise the Lord that we have memories to carry us through the rough moments! So many wonderful memories - nothing can ever replace that.

I miss you dear friend!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

80's rock!

I popped in my CD that I put together a few years ago & I love how it transports me back in time. It is all songs from when I was a teenager - the great 80's! See if you remember any of these, even heard any of these.
  • "Teenage Love"- Slick Rick - Now I'm not a huge fan of rap, but rap then is NOT what rap is now! It completely describes the whole "drama" of being a teenager in love!
  • "Arms of Orion" - Prince & Sheena Easton - it was the love song from the original Batman movie with Michael Keaton. Anyone remember it? Its great!
  • "Girlfriend" - Pebbles - Oh yeah, driving around on Friday night with Stephanie screaming to the top of our lungs - GOOD TIMES
  • "Don't Give Up" - Peter Gabriel & Kate Bush - Kate Bush's voice is hauntingly beautiful in this!
  • "As We Lay" - Shirley Murdock - a song about adultery - dont know why I liked it - but I did - another one of those Me & Steph screaming/singing songs
  • "Without You" - Motley Crue - how can you have the 80's without a Crue song? This is memories of meeting Jeff on Spring Break at Myrtle Beach.
  • "How Could It Be" - Eddie Murphy - YES, Eddie Murphy - & if you havent heard it - it is AWESOME! A Love ballad that was actually on Side B of "Party All the Time" - but then you even have to remember little single albums with a Side B on them!
  • "Cry to Me" - from Dirty Dancing - you all know the scene - Loved it! I even went to the Dirty Dancing Concert when it toured - how sad is that! (Front row by the way!)
  • "Poison" - Bel Biv Devoe - I Defy anyone to NOT dance when this starts - its a great booty-shaker song!

I do know for a fact that most of these are on You Tube - what's better than an 80's song - an 80's video! They dont make them like they use to!........aahhh, memories!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

My poor hands!

Ohhhh! I've got to do something about my poor aching hands! ......... For those who dont know, Steph started on a blanket for Amber before she passed away. We were out yarn shopping one day & she came across this yarn that was exactly like the yarn she made Amber a baby blanket out of when she was born. Over the years, the blanket has gotten misplaced - so when Steph found this yarn, she bought all they had & was determined to make her an adult "baby" blanket. It is so soft, its like working with cotton candy - its even similar in the colors - with white, pink and blue speckled throughout. Steph knew she wasn't going to be able to finish it so she had me promise I would finish this. I promised. So I've been working on it and my poor hands are reaping the consequences. A baby blanket or a small project is easy - they get finished quickly. An adult size blanket - whew - its work. Steph taught me to crochet before we knitted & I crocheted a blanket for our bed - it took me about 3 years to finish!!!! (SERIOUSLY) I cant wait 3 years to get this done. I am half way finished - I have 2 1/2 skeins left. I gave my hand a break during the weekend so I think I may be ready to get started again.

I have it marked where Steph finished on it - I want to run a ribbon through it so Amber can keep that part up by her heart - that's the last thing she was working on - even working on it up until Mother's Day - 4 days before she passed....... I'll definately post a picture when its finished - the "cotton candy comfort" ....... Cheer me on to that last stitch!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Who knew...

Who knew a 25 cent ball could be so much fun?

Me and Lindsay went into Old Navy while Ricky had to run in Best Buy. We were dress shopping and found the machine that had little bouncy balls for a quarter. Now, these werent the average bouncy balls - they were pretty large - meaning better change of grabbing it when you bounce it. We each pulled out 2 quarters and got 2 each - with me knowing I'd have to give one of mine up to my husband. We couldnt stop bouncing them! Even in line waiting to check out - we had contests of bouncing both at the same time. A little girl in line stared at us in amazement. I wanted to tell her - "they're only a quarter". We caught up with Ricky who immediately asked where his was at - hence, giving up one of mine (ahh, that's love) and the 3 of us were bouncing our way through Best Buy and the parking lot to the car.

Later, at the evening Thrive service at church - how ironic is this - the stage was decorated in balls with a lesson about a man and his son wanting a ball and not being able to have it. There was the 3 of us sitting in the back pew bouncing and throwing our balls the whole time. THEN, during the music, Lindsay dropped hers and it rolled under the pews. The next few scenes were something out of "I LOVE LUCY"! We were under the pews with a cell phone for light trying to find this ball. I have to admit - I have not laughed that hard in the past few months! I had tears running down my face and my stomach hurt - the best kind of laughter there is! On a side note - we did get the ball back! And the best note of all - at the end of the service, they threw BALLS OUT TO EVERYONE!!!

Who knew 25 cents could provide so much entertainment!?

Friday, June 08, 2007

Another Small Group Question

Our small group questions are still ringing in my mind - here's another that really peaked my interest.......... Did God create "evil" if He created everything? Does God love Satan? Meaning, isn't God suppose to love everyone no matter what - so does that apply to Satan? There's something to wrap your brain around and think about for awhile.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Small Group

Last night was our first small group meeting without Steph. WIERD! It was nice to be back with these people, enjoying dinner, laughing and having some great discussions! Were dinasours on the Ark? Was Jesus with God from the beginning? How Satan tried to ruin the lineage of Christ. Some really good stuff I never even thought of before.
What got me though throughout the night - I'm watching Bridget and Carol and their "inside jokes" and talking about going shopping earlier in the afternoon together and just their looks at each other that could make them laugh. That's where it hurts - that was me and my buddy. I see all these friends together and feel out in left field somewhere. Its just different with girlfriends - they get you in a way your husband can't. Ask any girl - they'll agree!
I have to say though - Ryan, Steph's baby - truly amazes me though with his knowledge of the Bible. I dont know many 21 year olds that can tell you exactly where things are said in the Bible. "Oh you want to know that? Go to Job 41 - Go to John 1:3 - Go to...." OH MY - that boy has the Spirit in him! Steph always said he'd be her little preacher!

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Steph gave me & Ricky a bracelet when they first came out and had us promise we wouldnt take them off for her and her fight with cancer. We never did!

Ricky took his off the day Steph died....

I took mine off last night....

I cried.....

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Baby is graduated!

Unbelievable - the baby is now out of high school! It really choked me up sitting there watching her in her cap and gown getting her diploma. It just seems like yesterday we saw Alaina walk that same stage - but the BABY - WOW - it goes so fast! I dont know why I was so emotional - maybe because the air conditioning was broke in there and it was a 90 degree day (UGG) - maybe because I was going on 2 1/2 hours sleep from the lock-in the night before and that made me, as Ricky says, "moody" - (no comment) - but mostly because I just cant believe the kids are all grown up. At dinner, Alaina and Lindsay were sitting across from us and I told them, I look at them and see 2 little girls with pigtails sitting there. I can remember Alaina not wanting to be "girly" and there she was in a dress, make up, jewelry, looking like the top model. I remember Lindsay being the prissy little one who could never make a decision - and there she sat as beautiful as ever in her dress, ready to face the world on her own - even if it is a little scary to her. At this point, I guess all you can do it let them know you love them and pray even harder for them as they get deeper into life on their own.

What I dont understand - I haven't aged a day through all this! (I dont want to EVEN hear comments on that!)

Monday, June 04, 2007


Can you believe this! Xanadu on Broadway! I have to tell you - I was obsessed as a child with this movie! It involved Olivia Newton-John and my other passion - skating- what could be better. Just give me some barretts with ribbons braided through them, and life was good! I use to sit with a tape recorder up to the TV and tape the songs and sing them OVER AND OVER - ask my brother - it would drive him insane! Then the cassette came out - and hello, now I'm in my 30's and technology is so great - Yes, I have the CD in my car right now. Now, It's on Broadway - who would have ever thought that was possible! I have to get to New York because I have a feeling, this isn't going to be going on a National Tour! It's just hilarious someone else besides me even liked this movie! And Yes, my big brother was tramatized by this - he just gave me the DVD a few years ago - he can't shake this movie from his brain!

If you're not familiar - I do know there are clips on You Tube!