So many Firsts....

I saw these questions posted up on my incredible blog buddy's page yesterday - so thanks Audrey for the fun post & feel free to join along yourself.

* What was your first word?
I have no idea. It was probably Da-da... I need to ask my parents that one.

* Do you still talk to your first love?
Nope. I have no idea what even happened to him actually.

* What was your first alcoholic drink?
I actually have no idea. I never cared to drink & dont really remember what my first one was. I do remember trying a beer for the first time & nearly choked at how awful it was. One sip was all it took for me on that to never want one again. I just dont care for alcohol. I dont like the way it makes my head feel.  I'm one of those people that are super-sensitive to things like alcohol or medicine, & I dont like the feeling of not being in control, so I'll skip it. 

* What was your first job?
My first real job with a real paycheck was as a cashier in our local grocery store. I LOVED that job. I always grew up wanting to play on a cash register so I felt like it was a small dream come true.  & I loved getting to talk to people & seeing the regulars that came in. I always say it was the best first job anyone can have.  Learning people skills & working with money.  Life long skills right there.

* What was your first pet?
Dolly - she was a miniature schnauzer.  The best dog. So dumb - but so cute.  She could bark to make it sound like she was saying HELLO.

* What was your first car?
A 1970-something Toyota Celica. Loved that car. 

Not mine - but same color & everything

* Who was the first person to text you today?
My brother. GASP - WHAT?? ... but really, I text him first to ask him a question about dog food. He replied back. 

* Who was the first person you thought of this morning?
Typically, its usually one of my dogs that goes through my mind ... & since SOME people may not call them 'people' - I'd say it is probably Ricky - since I'm wondering if he's taken the dogs out yet, or fed them yet or gave them treats yet. Our house is centered around the care of old dogs & puppies.

* Who was your 1st grade teacher?
Miss Clayton. LOVED her. Everything a first grade teacher should be.  I always remember she was my only teacher that was a Miss & not a Mrs.

* Where did you go on your first airplane ride?
Oh Jesus - give me strength.  I flew the first time of my life when I was 19 & went with my aunt to fly to Texas to visit another aunt.  Basically on a crop duster.  The smallest plane. I think I remember propellers.  It was terrifying & horrifying & exactly why I hate flying now. My aunt still laughs because the first time we hit turbulence & fell (oh, a few couple of hundred feet) I screamed. I mean, can you blame me? How she thinks that is so funny is beyond me.

* Who was your first best friend & do you still talk?
We can go back to FIRST as in before even in school - her name was Tisha Sharp.  She was my best friend on my street.  I have tried to find her on Facebook to see where life took her & cant find her anywhere..... Then in kindergarten, I remember having friends & one of them, her name was Brecca - I always thought it was funny because it was like my name - she came to the funeral home when my grandmother died - totally shocked me!!!  - & I had 2 different Julie's growing up as best friends that lived in my street as well.  I do still talk to one Julie on Facebook & the other one, sadly, passed away in her 30's with cancer.  We're not even to elementary or middle school yet ... I'll stop - but love having friends.

* Where was your first sleepover?
I'm sure it was my grand parents house. They had a soft foam mattress they'd put on the floor next to their bed I can remember sleeping on.  As for friends, I'm sure it was one of those girl's names that I mentioned above that lived on my street.  Not far to get home.

* What was your first concert event you went to?
My first REAL concert I went to was Bon Jovi, Slippery When Wet tour with Cinderella opening up. I can still remember how awesome it was with all the denim mini skirts & Aqua-Net sprayed hair. I think I still have the concert shirt stored somewhere too - that baby is probably worth money today.

* What was your first broken bone?
My fingers in my hand. My brother kicked my hand & broke all four fingers (not the thumb). MEAN BROTHER. Actually, we were blowing bubbles in the house & as I was swatting the bubbles, he was kicking them... collision.  We werent supposed to be blowing bubbles in the house so as I lay screaming in pain with 4 broken fingers, my brother was begging me not to say anything because he didnt want to get in trouble for the bubbles. Kids. I was in first grade & can remember that as clear as day.

* What was your first piercing?
My ears. I got them pierced when I was 2 years old. Obviously, I dont remember it - but from what I heard, I didnt even blink - but my dad nearly passed out.

* What was the first foreign country you've gone to?
I guess it was Canada... or was it the United Kingdom?  Whatever is the first one when you take a right in Epcot Center in the World Showcase.... OH PLEASE - this girl dont even own a passport & that's as foreign as I'll get!

* What was your first movie you remember seeing?
I can remember two being fairly young. 1. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi & 2. Airplane. I can remember laughing so hard with my mom that we got asked to "HUSH" from the movie workers.

  

* When was your first detention?
In your dreams... I never had detention a day in my life. I would just DIE if that ever happened.

* Who was your first roommate?
My best friend from 7th grade through high school - when we graduated, we got an apartment together... before I moved back home & didn't move out again till I was married.

* What was your first sport involved in?
I started in Kung-Fu fairly young, like elementary school young.
But I also played softball for a year in elementary school.... but didnt play longer than a year, not sure why. I ended up getting my black belt when I was 16 so that's the sport I stuck with.

* What is the first thing you do when you get home?
Take Bruno outside. All the other dogs are good at going out potty, but when you're blind, you cant find the door to get outside - so that's always first priority.

This was fun! Thanks Audrey for the heads up on this fun post!

Evaluated

I was standing in the copy room last week when my manager came up to me & said, "I'm going to refresh my drink but when I get back, come in my office so we can do your 3 month evaluation"

I literally looked at her & said, "I think I'm going to be sick"....

She laughed at me & thought I was joking & walked away to get her hot tea refill.
I stood there & took deep breaths.  & started praying.

First of all, I didn't know they did 3 month evaluations but I guess that makes sense. Nip it in the butt if you aren't doing things right or correctly.

Second, I hadn't even realized I'd been at my new job for 3 months now. Isn't that crazy?

It feels on one hand that I've been away from my other job forever.  I guess when you see faces for 25 years straight, when you dont see them for a few months, it tends to feel like years have gone by.

But I'm also still getting used to downtown traffic & downtown lunches & parking garages & how to handle new situations that always pop up daily, so on other hand, it does still feel new & just a few months into the game. 

I saw my manager walk into her office, give me the hand motion to come in & I sat down in the chair. I'm nothing but honest & told her once again I could get sick & I was a nervous wreck.

Basically my reaction sitting there a nervous wreck

She then realized I wasn't joking from my first comment.  "Why? Why in the world would you be nervous?".... & then she handed me my evaluation that had sunshine marks all over it (how cute is that?) & the kindest words of encouragement & praise of a job well done so far. 

I took the biggest sigh of relief.

But I told her, you never know if you're doing things right.  You don't know if you're missing something because you dont know if there's something to miss. 

She assured me that everything I was doing was correct & on the right track  & she had big things in store for me... I walked out feeling very uplifted at my new beginning here & once again so thankful for the great people I work with.

& when I got back to my chair, it hit me.... I think that drop in the gut feeling... it all comes from being judged.

No one wants to stand in front of someone & get evaluated, not really. At least not me.  Even when I feel like I do something good, I'm the type of person who just knows the other person is going to see something bad in it.

It's why photography has turned into such a stressor for me.  I feel like I do good with photos or editing but live in such fear of disappointing a client. Being judged in how they see my vision of art in photography.

It's why I get nervous when someone comes to my home.  They see my style of decorating, or my lack of cleaning or the way my kitchen is old & has cracked floors... & its the idea that someone is judging you.

I can sit & think of so many ways that I feel like people can judge you - for your clothes, your abilities, your age, your home, your spouse, your children, your car, your weight - let's not get started on social media....all of it - so dumb.

I should have walked in with confidence knowing I'm doing my best & being OK with that...

& because y'all know I'm a middle school youth leader, my mind is always going back to examples of how to make that teachable... & we see so much in the Bible that reminds us not to judge others.  & that one day we will be judged for the life we lived... but as a Christian who believes in Jesus Christ, we can walk up in that judgement with confidence that He will stand in our place of the ultimate judgement.

Because y'all, we are NEVER going to be good enough. 

There's always going to be things we're not great at - things we can always learn - things we are going to always mess up at.  & it's OK to have someone tell you when you need to get better at something, or to correct you when you mess up, but I dont have to feel the burden so heavy. 

It's just doing the best you can sometimes....

Such a comforting thought...

& all that from just a 3 month evaluation.

What happens at my 1 year evaluation?  I'll have to walk in & say, "I'm bringing Jesus in with me here"... my manager would probably expect me to say that... but it'll be true.

God help all of us in that evaluation in November.

The weekend I took pictures....

Hello Monday!

Well, today is kinda a different post - hope you like pictures.

I just didnt have big plans for the weekend & figured I'd document it in pictures.... so hope you enjoy. 

Friday - got off work after having to work some over time & stopped for another coffee... which was horrible. UGH - having the worse luck with coffee. This sucker ended up costing me $10.00 after the tip. That's a total waste of $10.00

... I literally just sat on my couch & knit the rest of the night & watched some DVR'ed shows

... Saturday morning had me digging out my Starbucks Christmas blend coffee

... worked on my Bible Study that my Joysters are doing.

... the hubs went to a diaper party for a coworker whose wife is having a baby.  While he was gone, I took advantage of the quiet house to work out.

... while someone else took the advantage of the quiet house for other things.

... I then needed a refuel drink.  Tone it Up protein powder really is my favorite.

... then while the house was still quiet... I really took advantage of it by reading some in my spot with a dog who was enjoying watching the rain.

... & someone else who enjoyed watching me & my every move I make. After all, I may get near a treat jar at some point during the day.

... the hubs got home with some pizza for dinner & I literally sat on the couch the rest of the evening watching some Netflix & DVR shows & knitting. I had the worse head ache - dont know if it was all the rain & storms coming through - I felt BLAH.

Obsessed with this show on Netflix

... got up on Sunday to make some breakfast for me & Ricky.

.... then had to mop the floor because my dogs love to dig for moles, especially in muddy dirt.  Geez.  He caught one too. Ricky had to take it out - its the 2nd mole this week he caught.

... devotional time before straightening my hair & putting on make up.

... we headed to church at our old church to hear our precious buddy preach his first "big church" message. It was so incredible. Truly impressive.  So proud of him!!!!

.... it was so great seeing so many people of our church friends & visiting our 'home' ... it will always feel like home to us.

... You know what Sunday calls for - Starbucks break.  

... & a Target run. Do you know I havent been to Target in a month - A MONTH!!!!! I had to do what I love the most - check out the books. What can I say?

... I then had to head over to my parents house to help my dad with some things & then got to see his new little Baby. She's coming up to me & nipping my hand now. So stinkin' cute!!!

... & the big boy got to enjoy some outside time with some hay in the fresh air.

... I got home after the sun went down & it always feels  like the dog food assembly line.

... & then it was 8:00 & we called to Nashville to wish our youngest a Happy Birthday on his 4th birthday!!!... & I'm watching Big Brother & trying to get in some Walking Dead... & then its time to wrap up the weekend

So tell me, how was your weekend?

Friday Favorites

Favorite Bathing Suit

I love the top of this bathing suit.

& it would look great with any sorts of bottoms - boy shorts, a swimming skirt

& I dont hate these bottoms she's wearing either

Favorite Shoes

I think I could wear this all spring & summer long

& cheap - only $14.99 at Target!

Favorite Pet Item

Isn't this a cool area for a dog to play or sleep in?

Favorite Beauty & the Beast

Favorite Fun Buy

Who doesnt want a big container of 100 gel pens?

This would be so fun to doodle or hand letter with.

Favorite Candle

I'm so intrigued to know if this really smells like a bookstore.... mmmm...

Favorite Funnies

... how i feel about 2018 already just 2 months in

... when Ricky brings in tons of clearance Valentine's Candy & sets it on the kitchen counter

... me at 4:30pm

Happy Weekend Y'all!!!

Final shots, coffee break & lots of love {Thankful Thursday #164}

Y'all - Sorry - I dont know what is going on with my font. It's small - then its big... I dont know what's happening here. Satan is all angry over my Thankfulness apparently!
I have literally changed the font 20 times & it's still all wonky - any one have any thoughts?

This week I am Thankful For:

{Numbers go with my One Thousands Gifts Journal - just ignore}

128 / Safe on icy roads.
Oh my word.... it was icy last week on the way to work. They ended up canceling school & the walk into work from the parking garage to the building was so terrifying. Luckily, there was another lady who was moving at a snails pace & worried about falling so I stuck with her & we kept the slow & steady pace together & cheered each other one till we got to the door & solid ground. Whew!

129 / Last Puppy shots.
We did it - survived all the puppy shots.  Next up?  Clip clip.  Next month.  I'm trying not to think about it because I'll be nervous with my baby being under for the surgery.  We'll celebrate we're done with shots right now.

131 / Ernie loves his vet.
He really does. When she walks in the door, he runs to her & jumps on her & just loves when she loves on him.  I'm glad he knows who she is & he's not afraid of her.

134 / Sweet text.
Look at this text from one of my MSM girls when I was sick last Sunday & had to miss class. She calls me Becky Jo because I had mentioned that my family calls me that - so she said she's my family so she can call me that too #peencha

135 / Roses & Cupcakes
Ricky always is so thoughtful on Valentine's Day.  He is so good at finding me beautiful white roses for every occasion. Good guy.

136 / Parents still celebrate Valentine's Day.
Like I mentioned last week, that my parents were always so good at making sure I knew I was loved especially on Valentine's Day - it still makes me smile that they STILL do that. I got to work on Valentine's Day & saw they sent me an E-card that was so sweet.  Best parents.

139 / Starbucks break.
I love that work allows us some freedom to run out for a break & get some coffee - so many coffee shops around downtown - but the other day, it was so nice & warming up & me & my work buddy just needed a break away to catch our breath & it was perfect company on a perfect day with some good Starbucks.

143 / Nashville gang up.
Good to see everyone. Those boys always seem to grow on each visit where we see them.

149 / Surviving busy days
... especially when you feel bad. I hate when you have so much to do, people to entertain, things to keep up - & you feel awful the entire time. There's nothing like getting in bed at the end of those types of days feeling accomplished that you survived.

152 / Spring glimpses
I'll take every day that is in the 60's or 70's right now. Hope of Spring around the corner.

153 / Girls Study
I hadn't been with my girls in their bible study the past 2 weeks so I was so glad to be back with them this past Sunday.  I can't believe we're almost near the end of this bible study... cant wait to see what we do next.

What are you thankful for this week?