The weekend I ran my 8th half marathon, all while RUNGRY & dehydrated....

I did it... my 8th half marathon.

I wasn't sure I was going to make it. Honestly - this was one of the hardest half marathons I've done... & not because it was physical. This was a pure mental race for me.  If you've been around here lately, you probably figured that would happen, especially when I do a blog post a few weeks before talking about how I'm not sure I wanted to do it.... & then how the day laid out -talk about sprinkling more mental stress on a mental situation... yeahhhh ... it was tough.

But let me back up.

Friday, I went to the packet pick up, which was at a new place because they are doing construction on their usual location.

For me, it worked out WONDERFULLY because it was right next to my work & I was able to run over at lunch, easy peasy.

The parking was easy, & because I know how to get around quickly in the circle that is the Fairgrounds parking lot, I was in & out so fast.  The expo was nice this year too because I felt like it was able to spread out a little more & the aisles just felt bigger - & there seemed like more vendors. Maybe it was just because I was able to go at lunch & it didnt seem like as many people were there like after work?  Who knows....

I did notice the board though in the expo that gave the heads up on the running situation....

Oh, they had no idea how it would play out....

So after work, I thought what I could do to carb up & I ended up getting a veggie bowl, full of rice & veggies & cheese. Lots of good carbs happening.  After a full belly & getting all my stuff together, I ended up getting to bed early...

Only to be woken up a half dozen times because of storms coming through. OH MERCY... did the storms ever come through.  If it wasn't dogs freaking out, it was my phone ringing with the National Weather Service telling me our area was flooding out.  OK - I got it the first 2 phone calls... So it really was a restless night.

Not to mention, our little blind boy.... oh my.... We've been piling pillows on the edges of the bed so he doesnt fall out of bed.  Well, yeahhhh - that doesnt work. Poor little guy fell off the bed at 5am race day.  Freaked me out.  He must have busted something in his mouth because he was bleeding from his gums.  It stopped fast, but it was enough to have my nerves in a frenzy from the on set of the day.

I turn on the news & find out that our race time that was scheduled at 7:30 was moved back to 8... mmm'kay.

So we adjusted for that half our, got all ready & headed out... but knew things werent going to look good.

This is what it looked like at the stop sign at the end of our road - at 7:15am... when its normally sun up, bright skies. This aint looking good at all.

We got downtown & it was chaos - PURE CHAOS. They had every road blocked off - not even race roads - but construction roads on top of race roads. It took us nearly 40 minutes to get around just a few blocks.  Finally, I told Ricky, OK, we just gotta pray & I said, "JESUS - PLEASE OPEN UP A SPOT FOR US"... & I have to tell you - as soon as I said AMEN, a car pulled out of a parking spot in front of me.  A free parking spot.  We both started laughing & I said, "Why didnt we pray earlier?"

We had a few minutes before 8 so I head to the potty lines & I see one of my small group girls dad in line who was running & then hear my name & see one of my precious Joysters standing next to me - I had to run over to her line & hug her... & then we got talking about how bad the skies looked - to which she informed me the race was put off to 8:30. We had no idea....

I just saw there's Ricky walking away in the background - haha

So we headed back to some tables that were right in front of my car - so if it rained, we could jump in the car...

The skies... they looked so strange

I was also keeping an eye on my phone because one of my running blog friends that doesnt live in the area was doing this race!!! I so wanted to find her & meet her in person.  Sadly, we never did get to meet up.  She told me where she was holing up from the weather & I was down the total opposite way about 2 miles.  Dang it.  Funny side note - when we were leaving, I found out that I walked right past the place she was eating lunch at.  DANG IT AGAIN!  I'll catch you next time Tricia .

But then I got a text from my aunt & uncle who were walking the race & they were just down the block, so we went down there to see them.

I've turned my aunt onto KT Tape & she had brought some in case we saw them so I could wrap her knee.  Ends up, we had plenty of time to do it because the news was coming around that the race was now moved to 9:00!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!!?

At this point, I am getting a little freaked out. I mean, I ate 2 eggs at 6:30 expecting to run at 7:30 ... & now we're not starting till 9?  Not to mention, I hadnt had any water in all that time waiting - PLUS, it was so humid.  I knew this was going to throw my game off.

We finally made it to the line at 9:00 & do you know - we STILL didnt take off.

The funny thing - all these delays & it didnt even rain.  The skies looked bad but we just had a few sprinkles.  But when we lined up at 9am?  It DOWN POURED.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME AGAIN???

What is that guy doing behind me???

I did find out later that they had to delay it that 3rd time because there were tornado warnings near the area.  Geeezzzz....

Finally, at about 9:15 - 1 hour & 45 minutes after the original start, we finally crossed the line.

You think about that... an hour & 45 minutes & I should be over half way done- but we're just starting... in rain... & humidity.  Hello horrible race.

I will say, the first 4 miles, I felt great. Kept my pace where I wanted it - didnt have any injuries.. the rain let up.  I was thinking, this is going to be great.... & then the wheels fell off quick.

I think it was because I was so dehydrated, I just went down fast.  At mile 5, I ended up stopping at a water stop & drank a water & took an extra one because I was so thirsty - which is the first sign of dehydration - but when I drank the water, it was the strangest thing ever... it was like I drank the water & it instantly seeped out of my pores as sweat.  Same when I drank the 2nd cup ... I could feel it going down my throat & then my skin instantly started sweating.  Uh oh... this wasn't good.

I started feeling light headed & my heart rate was sticking in the 170's & I couldnt get it down. I told Ricky I had to walk for a bit to get my HR down....

& I did OK again until about mile 7.... Ricky even told me, "You look spent"... I felt spent.

We head into Churchill Downs at mile 8 & there's a hill down into a tunnel, it made my shins cramp up so bad - & then my feet & my calves. Everything was cramping up on me. Hello - dehydration is real. So real.

By the time we got out of Churchill Downs, I was just praying for a Powerade station.  & of course, when you NEED a station near, its NEVER near.  Even if I could see it, it still wasn't near enough.

I wanted to just run as fast as I could at this point to get it over with... except I couldnt.  I just felt so off.  My stomach was growling so bad, my water & nutrition were totally off schedule, my head felt light, my stomach felt woozy... downhill was where I was going.

I even went into a full fledge panic attack at mile 10. Like FULL FLEDGED. Like hyperventilating & couldnt breath panic attack.  I am the worst runner ever at this point.  I just stood in the middle of the road & cried.  Yes, I am a big baby... Ricky was like, "I'm getting the car. You're leaving. You came this far but you're going home"... & then I got mad.  I am less than 3 miles from the finish line - I'm not stopping!!

let me tell you - Ricky takes all my emotions in a race.  Poor guy. Let's have an applause for this guy.... clap... clap... slow clap... clap...

We finally made it to mile 12.5 after which I had another panic attack.... seriously - this was the most mental race I've ever done.  How many people stop & stand in the middle of the road during a race?... this girl... right here.

Seriously, the finish line was literally around the corner & I felt like I couldnt take another step.... a lady on the side lines saw me & said, "GIRL, you got this, you're almost there"... let me tell you, have you ever felt HANGRY?  There's got to be a run equivalent.  I couldnt even look at the lady.  I was just so angry at the world. No encouragement in the world was helping me. I felt like I was just in a tunnel of misery.

Does all this just sound like something you want to sign up for? I make races sound like so much fun.

But I trudged along to that corner & took the turn & saw the finish line & let me tell you, something in me - I call it again that RUNGRY emotion - that's the word!!!! - & it kicked in & I looked at Ricky & said, "LETS GET THIS OVER" & I took off...like the fastest pace I ran the whole race.

& man, I dread seeing those finish line pictures because they are going to be the most emotional race pictures I've ever received.   I was just so happy it was over.  The medic people were even asking if I was OK because I was just trudging at that point & near hyperventilating again from that fast run & crying again.

I got my medal & went over to take my picture... I told the people, "Better late than never, right?" & they were so sweet & encouraging to me.  They made me laugh & got my spirits back up.

I legit was so hungry, I thought I was going to pass out. Ricky was like, What can I do for you? I kept saying, "I JUST WANT A BANANA..... GET ME A BANANA... WHERE ARE THE BANANAS???????"... I ended up getting in a line & Ricky tried to jump past this line not realizing that WAS the line for the bananas. Apparently, everyone else had the same thought I did because the line was FOREVER long to get a stinkin' banana.

After I got that banana & Ricky got some snacks & we got more powerade & chocolate milk for him, we sat down.... & I just had to decompress.

I IG'ed this as soon as I sat down

I just hated this race.  Not "This" race - but hated "my" race.    I hated my time... which isnt my worse (its my 3rd worse & only 4 minutes slower than my race last year) but it really was my worst mental race ever. When they say that running is half mental & half physical... believe it.  Let me tell you once again about it.

I later read from so many running friends that the time delay & the humidity did a number on them too - so that actually made me feel better about things.  Glad to know I wasn't the only one being effected by the changes.

Finally back to the car

It all was a learning thing, for sure.

We left from there & went & got real food & I was just off the rest of the day.  Just felt so weird about the day.

I know dehydration got to me all day long because it was like 7pm at night when I realized, I hadn't peed all day long. Not one time.  Even after all that water on the course & drinking 3 cups of water at lunch.  Yeahhhh - the humidity wasn't my friend.

Finally after drinking more & more & peeing at 7pm, I felt more like myself...

& I enjoyed a sweet treat to celebrate that I survived this race.

Ricky told me I'm not doing this race again next year... & then he shook his head because he knows how I am.  I now am ready to train for a fall half marathon. haha.  I dont take defeat easily. I want to be better.

But I am ready for a break from running right now - just again, for the mental side of it.

We'll see how it plays out....

I'm just thankful for all the encouragement I got from sweet messages & texts from so many of you. Honestly, when I was in my worst moments on the course, I thought of the things you all said to me.  I felt like you all were my best cheerleaders I could have.... so thank you.  Truly - thank you!!!!

Race #8 in the books....

I told everyone that asked me how it went... I survived... standing...
you have no idea what a feat that was for me on this day.

It was enough though.  I crossed that finish line knowing that I can dig deep for strength when I needed to.  There's something to be said for that.

I woke up on Sunday, not even the tiniest bit sore - which is so strange for me. I'm used to not being able to walk, or thighs or back or knees hurting. I have no soreness whatsoever in this.  So that's one good thing.  & I'll take any good thing I can get from this race.

Tell me something good about your weekend

My motivation is apparently injured....

My next half marathon is next weekend.

I can't believe it.

I've actually lost count on which one this is... my 8th.. or 9th? Maybe my 10th?.. I get confused. I need to count my medals when I get home.

Regardless, this isn't my first rodeo.

So I know what to expect.

The thing is, the training this time has NOT been what I expect.

I know you all remember, because so many of you have been through it with me here on my blog, but I am the injury queen.  Seriously - I am.  But I'm still waiting on my sash & tiara for that.  I get instead, more KT Tape & smelly things like Icy Hot for that title.  A bonus includes a warehouse club size bottle of Aleve.

But here we are, 1 week away, & I've seemed to make it through this round injury free.  Now, don't get me wrong - everything still hurts.  My knees have been bad since I was in elementary school & I'm 45 years old. It of COURSE means everything hurts.  But my knees have hung in there this time... my low back has been stretching out well.  My bicep tendon is even playing along with just mild aching instead of miserable throbbing.  Progress.

.... I'm scared to death I just jinxed myself & my next run, I'm basically going to get hit by a MACK truck & karma will say, "you said what?"....

What is new to me this time around though... the thing that IS injured in training.
My mind.

This time around, I just dont care.
I dont feel it.
I have no desire to run. None.

I've even told Ricky I'm not sure I'm going to do the race... the race I've been training for for 16 weeks.

I just dont care.

Usually, I am so excited to start a half marathon training program.  It means consistency.  It means a plan is ahead of me. It means a calendar full of workouts lays on my counter for me to mark off for 16 weeks. I LOVE THAT KIND OF THING.

& I was excited to start.

But it was just a week or two into training & that stomach bug hit me... & it took me a bit to get back into the game.  & then my stomach started cramping on every run because that GI thing had my guts in literally total disarray.

& then a tooth broke in two in my mouth - or out of my mouth (makes more sense) & I had to have the rest of it cut out of my gums... & that just isn't fun to run with.

& lets not forget my latest mishap with new shoes & blisters on the bottom of my feet & a toenail that got infected.  Geez.

Let me be sure to add that I've just not felt like running. I've gained a few pounds back (thanks Easter candy that started coming out in January)... I feel like a slug.... I'm tired all the time... my run times are just getting slower & slower....

It doesnt help that allergy season is in full force & making me feel like I'm walking under water & my head is always ready to bust & the ear stuff that comes with pollen is kicking my vertigo back into a daily battle....

& all the while, its like these things have just sucked the motivation right out of me.

My training runs?  I do them - but usually they are done with whining & groaning & complaining.  Ask the hubs - he'll be so glad to tell you that's exactly what I've been doing the past few months.

My last words to him every day I walk out with my running shoes & ipod.... "I dont want to do this"
... but walk out the door & do it anyways.  & am grumbling the entire time about how much I hate doing this.  Sounds like fun stuff, huh?

When I tell Ricky I'm not sure I'm going to do this race, he said he knows me & I'd be too upset if I missed it so he's not going to let me.  I mean, I'm the one who has literally held myself together with tape & limped up to start lines & cried desperate tears for having to miss races.

But in all honestly, I really dont think I would care.  That's how much I've just sort of given up on this.

& truthfully, the past 2 weeks, I've not trained at all. I did the 10 mile run - which was my slowest race in the LONGEST time (which added to my motivation going downhill) - but after finishing the Triple Crown, I just didnt feel like doing anything more.  I know going into a half marathon with no long runs in tapering is going to be a bad thing.

I dont know what the deal is this year.

But let me tell you, this mind thing has been my biggest hurdle of 'injuries' I have ever dealt with in any training time.

... we'll see what happens next weekend.  Will I go?  Who knows.

Anyone got a match?  If so, apparently I need it lit under my butt.  Badly... & fast.

Anyone else just loose all motivation for things they usually love?

The weekend I earned a medal for not running....

Warning:  This is a long post, but I really think its worth the time :)  Just me.. just saying :)

So I got to add a medal to my shelf this weekend... & didn't even run a race.  That's pretty exciting. 

& before someone says, "You didn't earn it"... oh believe me... I earned it.

My alarm went off at 6am on Saturday, with the instructions to be at the volunteer tent at 7:15 am... now the race didn't even start till 8:30 so if I were running the race, I wouldn't even LEAVE my home until 7:45 so this was crazy that I started the morning so early.... but I was wanting to see how this all worked out, so I stopped by McDonalds & got an iced coffee & an egg sandwich & headed to an empty downtown.

The volunteer tent was right where they said it would be & they directed me to a table with tons of boxes on it.  Our job was to open these boxes & take out the medals & unravel the ribbons, get the paper off of them & get them straight.  All of this in the complete dark.  7:15 is really dark... especially with no lights.

I meet no strangers so the 2 ladies that were at the table became instant chat-buddies.  We talked about all the other races we had done in the past, our paces, our jobs, why we ended up tearing paper off medals in 50 degree weather... having cold hands & having to use them isn't the most fun I've ever had.

me & my new volunteer friends

Slowly, the sky started lighting up & everything was coming a buzz.  They were hanging the banners around, getting the drinks ready at the finish line, more people were showing up.  Runners were even starting to make their way to the start line passing us up, wanting to see what they were working for.

It was cute because a mom & daughter stopped & said, "We have a question. How long are you going to be here?"... we told them we would stay until they came across & they told us they were walking it & it was the first race they ever did.  A half marathon being my first race, I understood their nerves & excitement.  The mom told us she had hip replacement not too long ago & was nervous how it would all work out for her.  We just encouraged her & told her she was going to do great... she has a brand new strong hip after all :)

All the medals were lined up ready to go & then, we heard the National Anthem down the road at the start line.  We only had a few minutes before the Kid's 1 mile run so we headed down the block to a Starbucks to load up on more caffeine. 

I shared the news of what I learned - adding pumpkin to chai tea... I just made more people happy in this world.

We were happy to find a real bathroom in there & then headed back to the start line & got ready for a few hundred kids to come through.  They had little medals for their race too... nice ones! 

After the kids went through, it was time to wait for the first runners... the pros... the ones who blow me away.

It was about 1:12 & they gave us warning that the leader was just around the corner... & before you knew it, there he was... & it was just 2-3 minutes the 2nd place... & then it started the constant flow of runners.

I had to say, being a slow runner & never seeing the beginning runners of a race, I was surprised at how lonely it is at the finish.  I know being a back of the pack (BOTP) runner, its usually lonely because everyone has gone to the after party & finished up... well, let me tell you, its just as lonely at the beginning. I guess family members are still moving from the start of a location on the course before coming to the finish & the energy just wasn't at full speed when those first runners came through.  It made me feel better about the BOTP thing... to know the pros get the same treatment.  At least they get bagels & food without the chance of running out.

It took just about 15 minutes & the crowds were pouring in...

& let me tell you, the time FLEW by... I mean, FLEW by...

My goal was to catch all my friends that I knew were running.

The first one that came through was my blog buddy, Kristen ... I was so excited to see her in person.  I think she is just the coolest chic & I was so excited to hear her Australian accent, & I was excited when I spotted her coming & I just jumped up & down & she saw me & headed right at me... I know she hadn't even caught her breath & I just kept hugging her telling her how awesome she is.  Her first words, "OWWW" :)  ... given... she just did a half marathon with an incredible time.  I didn't want to make it seem like I was keeping her from getting her energy back & heading to the after party so I hugged her one last time & then let her go...

& then was so dang mad I didn't get a picture with her.  She told me later she tried to come back but the security wouldn't let her through. I told her that the stupid security doesn't understand a bloggers life!  She is even cuter in person & I know that she's not just an Aussie fairy ... maybe a Tinkerbell (she'll get that reference) ...

Totally snagged a picture from her Instagram so you could see how freaking adorable she is!!!

The next person coming through was another blog buddy I was so excited to see....Katie & I tried to meet up at the Ironman when she volunteered in a different location. It never worked out so I was really keeping my eye out for her.  I knew her as soon as I saw her... I mean, she was the one who looked so beautiful even after running.  Katie had injuries not too long ago & was told she wouldn't be able to run for a long period of time... but here she was doing the SECOND race of the weekend.  In your face doctors!  She grabbed her phone & took a picture of us - I'm so glad she did - reminding me that I needed to start doing this myself.  I have a feeling I'm going to be hunting this lovely lady down at more races we're at together... more pictures in the future...

Next through was my buddy Gina.  I met Gina through all the races & through mutual running friends.  I just think she's so awesome & we always just seem to find each other during races, usually as she's passing me up.  But I loved being at the finish line to give her her well deserved medal this time.  I root her on.  Us ladies over 30 need to stick together... She was telling me how the hills aggravated her back & this was her worst half marathon... but she was still proud of herself - as she should be. I told her she crossed that finish line... I didn't... so many others didn't.  Even the slowest race is something to be proud of ... I've learned that through the years....

As soon as she left, I looked up & saw someone dressed like Paul Stanley from KISS & started laughing... then was like, WAIT! I know her... & screamed DANA?... she looked over at me & started laughing.  It did not surprise me one bit that she dressed up in costume & rocked another half marathon... complete in a hot wig & make up still intact.  She is so incredibly inspiring to me. She used to be my Jazzercise instructor & I just love everything about her. Her attitude is top notch.  She knows we're KISS fans so told me to make sure we got a picture so Ricky could see... he loved it!!! I think next race, we'll have to get her husband & me & Ricky & go as the full group.... I think that sounds perfect.

Its funny because someone from Urban Bourbon took a picture of when I took this picture & put it in their video on their website... I made their video.. & I didn't even run... Now that's how you do it!

I had one more friend I was keeping an eye out for - another blog buddy...I saw Lori coming down the road because she always has the coolest, brightest running skirts!  I screamed for her as she was coming so she knew I was there & she headed my way. Bless her heart - I saw today the blisters she has on her feet... OUCCCCHHHH!!!! & she had some issues with the race, but girl always has the best attitude. She goes out with the purpose of having a good time & I love that about her. 

I knew my friend Abby was coming because she's a pacer.  That's the good way to know when people are going to cross.  She's the most amazing person.. she runs & paces pretty much every week.  My body would just give out on me.  The most fantastic thing to me about her - she's the one who hooked us up on finding Harvey Dent.  She's an aussie lover.  & God love her - one of the very first things she said to me when she crossed the finish was how sorry she was to hear about Sydney.  Good person right there...

I also got to meet the lady on the left who is part of a group we are in on Facebook... someone else to check off the list of seeing in real life

So yeah, I loved so much being at the finish line & seeing my buddies... getting to put their medals on them & give them hugs.  It was the best thing I think I have ever done in a race... seriously...

I saw a lot of other things.  Things I didn't never thought of, & things I never want to see again.

... I saw more bloody nipples on men that I ever thought really happened in a race. I thought it was something that happened every now & then. I saw at least 20 guys with shirts with blood running down. Dear Lord.

... I saw people puking all around me. No joke. Literally.  I am a chain puker so it took everything in me to hold it together.  One guy puked so hard, it was coming out of his nose & he stood up & walked to get his medal & it was hanging there until someone told him... he didn't even know.  Another fun fact - they have buckets of water to wash away puke at the finish line.  Being a BOTP, we don't push ourselves to puke level... I didn't even know this existed.

... I saw a proposal!!!!  Right behind me.  I saw a family standing behind me & didn't know how they got there & why they were standing there.  & then a guy & girl cross the finish line, I give them their medal & then all of a sudden, I hear all sorts of buzz going on & I turn around & the guy was on his knee with a ring in his hand... AAHHH!!! That was her family there - they brought the ring & videoed it. I said I need to see the video because I'm standing right in the middle of them with a dropped mouth going OHHHHHHHHH & tearing up...

The race was coming to an end & all the other volunteers left except me & one other lady.  We had great talks of being BOTP people. I told her my goal is always 3 hour half marathons - hers?  3:30 -3:45 half marathons. She's had surgery on the bones of her heels ... BONES OF HER HEELS... so she has to go slow, but she PRESSES ON!!! We talked about all the benefits of being in the back, as well as all the disadvantages.  No cheering crowd, races running out of supplies, & the finish line being empty... we both said we would stick through to the end for 'our people'...

& we did...

the crowds were gone.  The music was wrapping up, but people were still coming.  We were jumping & hollering & screaming for these people & I would clap & say, "YOU DID IT" to every one of them & they were so happy & grateful. 

Funny side story - Ricky had to work & got off at noon. His work was down the road so he came down to the race afterwards & said he was looking for me & then heard me screaming & said, "I know that voice"... & easily found me that way :)

Next thing we see was the police car closing up the race... earlier then expected.  Most half marathons are 4 hour limits - this was about 3:40... & there was one lady in front of the car.  Me & the other volunteer was screaming like we won the lottery.  When the girl crossed the finish line, I ran up to her & said the words that always hit me in my own heart... I said, "I AM SO PROUD OF YOU - YOU DID IT"... she just busted out crying... I mean BUSTED.. I lost it myself...

We were done... or so we thought...

A lady was standing near by & said her friend was coming - could we give her a medal... we didn't see anyone else & her friend said, she's on the side walk. We saw her & I told her to get over & cross the finish line & she said, "No, that's OK. The police pushed me off the street. I know I did 13.1 miles. I don't need a medal."

... Oh HECK no... I told her that wasn't going to fly - to get over to me or I'd jump over the gate & chase her down to give her the medal... she came over & I put it on her & she too just teared up. I told her to be proud of herself. It was under 4:00 & she completed it... I hate she wasn't allowed the experience of crossing the finish line.

....& we thought we were done... again... but nope...

Someone else came up & said, our daughter & wife aren't here yet. Can we get a medal for them.  They told us that the mom had just had hip replacement surgery & it was her first race.... OH SNAP... that was the lady who stopped & talked to us at the beginning.  No way was I leaving... we saw them on the side way & I motioned for her to come down the ending, even though they were taking everything down... as they were coming, I was cheering, her family was on the side cheering & when her & her daughter finished, it as just as good as the first person coming through....

I was so glad I stayed... I was so glad I got to see literally every person cross the finish line...

& then I turned around & the race coordinator was standing there & she came up to me & said, "Bend over...." & she put a medal around my neck. & she said, I want to thank you for all this hard work"....

In the end, I was on my feet from 7:15 until almost 1:00... longer then if I actually walked the half marathon myself...

But it was the most rewarding experiences of my life...

Not a bad way of kicking off a vacation.

What did you do this weekend?

What to do... what to do...

Here we are... at race week...

I can't believe it.

This Saturday is the Kentucky Derby Marathon/miniMarathon ... & I'm registered.

If anyone remembers last year, you'll remember that I trained, was prepared for the race & then 4 days before the race, my back pain went into OVER DRIVE & I couldn't even move.  I literally laid in my bed throwing a fit arguing with Ricky that I could STILL DO IT... knowing I really couldn't... & ended up not standing at the start line.

If you didn't read it, or remember it (I actually re-read it & forgot some of the things)... check it out right HERE

& here we are a year later... & I'm nervous & not sure how its going to work out.

First of all, I STILL have back pain.  It comes & goes, some days being extreme, some days being bearable, some days no issues at all.... but when I run, its always there as a thorn in my side.

Second, I'm running at the heaviest I've ever been in my life... which is so freaking depressing I could just break down, run into a corner & cry thinking about it.  Actually, I break down & cry about it every morning when I get dressed & have to debate on what to wear with my wardrobe getting slimmer & slimmer in choices.  I've been to doctors that don't understand why my weight has creeped on so fast & my wonderful insurance doesn't pay for a nutritionist, so I just keep on moving & imagine what my weight would be if I DIDN'T work out 6 days a week... where's that corner to cry in again...

This is how I feel when I see people who work out 30 minutes a day for 1 or 2 days
... & eat whatever they want..
& look like Miss America

Third, I haven't been able to train like I usually do the past 2 weeks.  With a wedding & a conference, I've missed my last 2 long runs.  Thankfully, that's my taper & the miles are coming down, & its not like I was home sitting on my butt not doing anything - I was constantly moving (jumping & dancing if you count the concert Saturday) - but when I don't do my training plan, I get nervous.



Fourth, with the back & the weight & the always no-need-to-even-metion knee problems, I'm slower then ever.  I have been doing a walk/run method to keep my back in check.  I still am getting the miles in, but its SLOW... & I think my time for this half marathon will go on record as the 2nd to worst time ever.  At least I hope its not the WORST... that goes for my first year of doing the half marathon where I wasn't prepared at all... & nearly died.  Good times.

Fifth, this race is the day before Easter.... who is the idiot that moved it up a week & did that?  I am in a skit at church for Easter & we're practicing on Saturday - 3 hours AFTER the race & then I'll be doing this skit twice on Sunday.  Its a physical skit too... & I'll be screaming inside for soreness & pain.  More good times.

So yeah, the race is Saturday & I'm nervous & not feeling strong about it, not feeling prepared...

Ricky is trying to talk me into not bothering with it.  Sleep in.  Enjoy the weekend.  After all, I still have about 250 pictures to edit.  Just relax & do that...

But I feel like I have to try... see what I can do....right? 

Life is about challenging yourself & seeing how well you step up to face these things that want to back me down...right?

& I'm not going into this ignorant.  I actually have a game plan with Ricky to meet me at mile 7 - a little over half way... & if my back is in extreme pain or I just feel like death is chasing me down the road, I have no problem stepping out & jumping in the car with him.

I have a DNS (did not start) last year.... why not add a DNF (did not finish)...

It doesn't hurt me like it did last year...

So wish me luck... I'm nervous... not sure what the day will hold... honestly still debating if I'll make it to the start line again...

Whatever happens, I've learned a lot about myself in the training, in the process... that's what its all about anyways.

Need a goal...

My running has gotten lack...

yes, I still do it 3 times a week, but it just feels different...

why?  Because I'm someone that needs a goal...

I am one of those nerds that need a calendar in front of me with a countdown chart & a plan on what I need to be doing for the day.

Who knew I need organization like that?

Who Knew? ... Belle style...

If you looked at my house, you'd think 'organization' wasn't anywhere in my vocabulary.

Running is a different story...

I've learned I'm not one to go out for a 'whatever' run... whatever I feel like... whatever I want to do...

No... I need a chart in front of me that says, today you need to do 3 miles.. tomorrow you need to do a circuit training...

So I pulled out my handy dandy MasterCard, registered for some races & made me some goals...

October holds now the Big Hit Half Marathon

This is one of my favorite races ever anyways...

It falls on the week we're on vacation in October... its organized so nicely with little touches (they have your name on the runner's bib... see?  little things)... & the metals are always top notch.  Not to mention, the finish line is across the home plate in Slugger Field.  How cool is that?

& then, the redemption run...

I got in for the early registration for the 2014 Kentucky Derby Marathon/Mini-Marathon since the prices raise Thursday

Yep - the one that my back took me out of 3 days before the race last year...

I will say, that whole experience last year taught me something... I don't care if I have to walk the whole thing - I'll walk it...not my plan... but if it comes to that, it will be OK.

Standing there & watching every single last person do the race, there was a slew of walkers at the end... & they were having fun ... & they were getting it DONE...

didn't matter how... didn't matter when... they finished a half marathon...

that's all I want...

I may have to do a New Girl re-enactment in my next race

I really am not minding the whole 'time' thing anymore... call it age... call it getting old... call it whatever you want...

I'm still getting the medals - no matter what...

I won't go to these extremes of getting to the finish line for a medal....

I'm even thinking of doing another half marathon in November... debating on that one if it fits into my photography calendar...

but today, I'm a happy girl because I'll be pulling out calendars & counting back weeks & charting what my workouts needs to be...

Who'd ever think that would give me such joy in life...

Does running bring you joy?

Do you need structure & organization in working out?

Any races in your future?

Are you shaking your head & saying to me, "I'll never run? (be careful, I said the same thing for years)