My next half marathon is next weekend.
I can't believe it.
I've actually lost count on which one this is... my 8th.. or 9th? Maybe my 10th?.. I get confused. I need to count my medals when I get home.
Regardless, this isn't my first rodeo.
So I know what to expect.
The thing is, the training this time has NOT been what I expect.
I know you all remember, because so many of you have been through it with me here on my blog, but I am the injury queen. Seriously - I am. But I'm still waiting on my sash & tiara for that. I get instead, more KT Tape & smelly things like Icy Hot for that title. A bonus includes a warehouse club size bottle of Aleve.
But here we are, 1 week away, & I've seemed to make it through this round injury free. Now, don't get me wrong - everything still hurts. My knees have been bad since I was in elementary school & I'm 45 years old. It of COURSE means everything hurts. But my knees have hung in there this time... my low back has been stretching out well. My bicep tendon is even playing along with just mild aching instead of miserable throbbing. Progress.
.... I'm scared to death I just jinxed myself & my next run, I'm basically going to get hit by a MACK truck & karma will say, "you said what?"....
What is new to me this time around though... the thing that IS injured in training.
This time around, I just dont care.
I dont feel it.
I have no desire to run. None.
I've even told Ricky I'm not sure I'm going to do the race... the race I've been training for for 16 weeks.
I just dont care.
Usually, I am so excited to start a half marathon training program. It means consistency. It means a plan is ahead of me. It means a calendar full of workouts lays on my counter for me to mark off for 16 weeks. I LOVE THAT KIND OF THING.
& I was excited to start.
But it was just a week or two into training & that stomach bug hit me... & it took me a bit to get back into the game. & then my stomach started cramping on every run because that GI thing had my guts in literally total disarray.
& then a tooth broke in two in my mouth - or out of my mouth (makes more sense) & I had to have the rest of it cut out of my gums... & that just isn't fun to run with.
& lets not forget my latest mishap with new shoes & blisters on the bottom of my feet & a toenail that got infected. Geez.
Let me be sure to add that I've just not felt like running. I've gained a few pounds back (thanks Easter candy that started coming out in January)... I feel like a slug.... I'm tired all the time... my run times are just getting slower & slower....
It doesnt help that allergy season is in full force & making me feel like I'm walking under water & my head is always ready to bust & the ear stuff that comes with pollen is kicking my vertigo back into a daily battle....
& all the while, its like these things have just sucked the motivation right out of me.
My last words to him every day I walk out with my running shoes & ipod.... "I dont want to do this"
... but walk out the door & do it anyways. & am grumbling the entire time about how much I hate doing this. Sounds like fun stuff, huh?
When I tell Ricky I'm not sure I'm going to do this race, he said he knows me & I'd be too upset if I missed it so he's not going to let me. I mean, I'm the one who has literally held myself together with tape & limped up to start lines & cried desperate tears for having to miss races.
But in all honestly, I really dont think I would care. That's how much I've just sort of given up on this.
& truthfully, the past 2 weeks, I've not trained at all. I did the 10 mile run - which was my slowest race in the LONGEST time (which added to my motivation going downhill) - but after finishing the Triple Crown, I just didnt feel like doing anything more. I know going into a half marathon with no long runs in tapering is going to be a bad thing.
I dont know what the deal is this year.
But let me tell you, this mind thing has been my biggest hurdle of 'injuries' I have ever dealt with in any training time.
... we'll see what happens next weekend. Will I go? Who knows.
Anyone got a match? If so, apparently I need it lit under my butt. Badly... & fast.
Anyone else just loose all motivation for things they usually love?