Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Girls Night Out!

Image result for girls night out southeast christian church

Girls Night Out!

What a fun night we had.

I was so blessed to be asked to sit on a panel & speak to Middle school girls about what it looks like to BE ENOUGH… in this world where there’s so much shoved in your face, or words that are spoken that kind of knocks you down a few levels.

I honestly felt like I could talk on the subject for hours on end as a woman, because we know that women have so much pressure & stress to live up to expectations that are sort of crazy.  I mean, I remember having feelings of not being enough in middle school & these were the days before Pinterest & Instagram were out where it amped everything up for comparison & feeling like my life isn’t so glamorous. & yes, middle school girls are all about Pinterest. It’s not just for home decorations or party planning.  These girls tell me that they search up styles & make up looks & room decorating ideas themselves.  We are starting the girls off younger & younger to live up to expectations.  So sad.

There was a speaker that spoke on this topic in a way I’ve never heard before. I’m praying that its recorded somewhere because I want every single woman in my life to hear it. It was a message perfect from the young to the grandmas sitting in the crowd – all about how we listen to voices that we don’t need to – telling us to do better, try harder, beat that girl next to us, be better than the person beside us.  When none of that is the case.  It was such a powerful visual that she put out there, I was nearly in tears.

When it came our time to break into groups & I got to speak with the middle school girls, I talked about what my ENOUGH situation was at their age. For me, it had to do with body issues – how someone’s words of insult stuck with me & has stuck in my head over the years, ringing over & over again making me feel like in this world of beauty & perfection, I would never be good enough.  It was hard to be transparent & I wish I could have talked more about it but time was so short, but I think I got my message across when a few girls came up to me afterwards & asked me how I handled that, not feeling beautiful or happy with your body. That was confirming to me that I spoke what God wanted me to say because I could have picked a long list of things that I don’t feel good enough in.

I used an example though that I thought was fun & really grabbed the idea of how powerful words said to us & images we see can really affect the way we feel in our minds.  Of course, I just had a Starbucks cup in my hand but asked the girls if they liked coffee – it really does blow my mind middle school kids like coffee now.  I started drinking it when I was 37 years old…

Anyways, I told them that when you make coffee, in a real coffee pot, you have to use what? A filter.  Something to keep the bad out – let the good delicious yummy part just pour through.  But that bad stuff still sits in the pot on top of that filter until you take it out. 

& what if you just throw more coffee in & try to make another pot?  It won’t come through as well – its going to start getting clogged up.  The good has a hard time breaking through.

Image result for coffee filter gif

& what happens if you never change that filter?  You’ll never get a good tasting pot of coffee again.  The good won’t make it through the coffee ground sitting on that filter.  Plus, it gets heavy & stinky.  & probably something disgusting is going to grow in there too if we’re honest.

Its why we have to be so aware of who we are in God - creations that get a new beginning – every day.  We have to grab a hold of every thought that goes through our mind & check it. Is this a word from God or from Satan – or even a word from a stupid teenage boy that doesn’t know what he’s talking about?  Check it all.  Take hold of every thought.  Give each thought, & see where its coming from - the importance of it.   See if its a truth from what God says about us - or if its lies that are trying to wear us down.

Every day, go to God, pray about the heavy stuff that’s sitting in that filter.  Then do what you need to do to THROW IT AWAY – put a new filter in – let the good things flow freely again – fill up that pot with the perfect delicious yummy goodness that can pour into it.

Image result for used coffee filter

The girls seemed to really grasp that idea.

At the end of the night, I do find it kinda ironic that as I’m driving home, I kept questioning if I said enough, if I didn’t say it right, if the girls that came up to me afterwards, did I say the right thing to them? Satan was at work at my mind right there to let me feel like I wasn’t ENOUGH at what I just did.  I had to check my filter… think about what is true in those words in my head. & I knew that whatever I just said or did, I knew God was going to take it & use it however He wanted or needed.  I didn’t have to let the gunk lay heavy on me.

I have to mention though 3 of my favorite things of the night.

1.      * My MSM girls sitting in the crowd. They are just the best & cutest things ever. When I introduced myself, they gave a big HOOT & HOLLER & I cant tell you what that did to my nervous heart up on stage. They are just the best source of encouragement to me.

2.      *A big part of the night was that the moms in the crowd would pray a blessing over their daughters. It really was a beautiful moment to stand in the back & watch.  But when we finished talking with the middle school girls, one of the high school girls came in from their break out group & said she doesn’t ever pray over people & feels funny stepping out, but she felt like God wanted her to come pray a blessing over us as leaders.  She put her hand on me & the other 2 leaders &; prayed the sweetest most beautiful prayer.  It totally made my night.

3.     * & finally – the PEENCHA moment of the night…. When I got done talking about how I felt as a middle school/ high school girl &; when a boy called me “Cool, but fat” how it changed my thinking for life – they had asked if anyone in the crowd had any questions for anyone on the panel. A girl raised her hand & said, “The girl in the glasses” – only me – she looked at me & said, “I think you are BEAUTIFUL” … I nearly cried y’all!!!! Seriously. &; then she said, “I think you look just like Belle too” – HAHAHAHA…. (I MAY have mentioned in my introduction that I have a slight obsession with Beauty & the Beast & I am 100% convinced I think I look like Belle.... gotta teach these kids the truth in life) ;) haha

At least I know someone was listening. haha... but what an incredible night I was truly blessed to be a part of.


  1. This is wonderful! I wish there was a video recording of the entire night so I could watch it. How cool that you got to be on that panel and what a beautiful message you delivered! Did you come up with that coffee filter analogy all on your own?
    I have to admit there are a few students in my class that are very rambunctious and don't act like the responsible 8th graders they need to be at the time and there are times that I will get frustrated with them and as they walk out the door i've told them they need to "try harder" and "do better" next time. I want them to know that their behavior is not acceptable. After reading this, perhaps I should change what I say....or maybe it's just a different situation all together. Don't you just love how I am thinking out loud.haha

  2. I love that you were able to speak to these girls and give them all the advice you have and connect with them on a level that they understand and appreciate! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  3. I do want to hear that message. Middle school was so hard for me and I try to block it out but thank goodness, life gets better! Love the filter analogy. You are an inspiration for these girls!

  4. What a wonderful message and something I need reminded of quite often. And she's do look like Belle!

  5. I think your coffee filter comparison is amazing. I'm pretty sure you just taught me a lesson right now, too. Those audience members were SO lucky to hear from you and share in your strong faith, Rebecca Jo!
    *And yes, if you let an old coffee filter sit too long, mold will grow in it... #MyBad

  6. I like the coffee analogy. Explains it very well!

  7. What a phenomenal evening! I love how the Lord gave you the idea about the coffee filter, that is brilliant! I don't think I'd ever heard it explained that way. I expect you'll remember this evening for a very long time!

  8. What an exceptional evening for you and all the attendees. I think your testimony was perfect and the girls obviously got what you were saying. You are an amazing mentor and have such a beautiful servant's heart!

  9. What an amazing evening! Such a good analogy with the coffee, something I wish I had learned when I was younger.


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