We made it through the weekend...
I knew this was going to be a tough one. Ricky avoids being at home at all costs because it just doesn't feel the same with Sydney gone, so I knew it was going to be hard on him to not have work to escape to.
Friday started with a kick in the gut when I got the phone call our babies ashes were at the vet to be picked up. I will say, Faithful Companions was so kind & caring. They called me on Thursday to let me know that they had Sydney with them, told me when she would be cremated & extended sympathies. I thought that was so kind. They called me on Friday to let me know they would be delivering her ashes back to the vet by the afternoon for us to pick up. I am grateful they took the time to keep me informed. I stopped & got her ashes on the way home & was surprised when they had even made a clay mold with Sydney's paw print in it.
It even has her hair tucked in the clay...
I took it straight home & baked it so it would harden. I didn't want to mess it up in any way...
Bless Ricky's heart... he didn't want to see it... didn't even want to know I got Sydney's ashes.
Saturday, I had a baby shower to go to & I felt bad leaving Ricky at home by himself & asked him to come with me but once he was home, he didn't want to leave. He was too upset to get in the 'real world'... I understood totally....
But it was good for my heart to get out with my cousin & celebrate her upcoming baby. It felt good to just get in the car & drive... & drive... & drive...
Goodness gracious - that shower was a long way from my home. It was about an hour drive, but it was a beautiful day, so I had the windows down, wind blowing my hair & singing to my Chris Tomlin CD all the way.
I even felt like I hit the lottery when I found gas for $3.15 a gallon. WHAT? I felt like jumping up & down when I spent $50.00 on filling up my gas tank when its usually like $65.00 #winning
The shower was so nice. I rarely get to see my cousin's 'other side' & they are just the cutest little family. I shouldn't say little. There are tons of them on that side. I'm the 'little side'... about the only time the word 'little' can apply to me. I'm the only girl cousin (first cousin) on Jasmine's side, so I had to represent! :) Our other cousin - which I'm not sure which kinda cousin she is, she's my dad's cousin, so does that make her my 2nd cousin? I get so confused... we'll just call her the AWESOME cousin. Makes it easier. It was just the 2 of us from Jasmine's dad side of the family. It was great seeing her again though. We were able to sit & chat & catch up on the latest in the family & just talk about old times. I love that lady. I need to find more time to spend with her.
I ended up leaving the shower as a co-winner in a competition to make a baby out of play-doh. I had no idea I could even be creative.... but look at my baby, complete with a baby bottle, a diaper, a belly button, a balloon that says, I love mom & even has hair that looks just like her momma's hair when she was born. I remember.. I was there. The hair is what won it for me I believe :)
My momma always taught me I can't leave a shower unless I'm a winner of a game. We take baby showers seriously.
Sunday, Ricky didn't go to church. He said he couldn't handle anyone saying anything to him about Sydney, so I went to Merge without him. It was probably good he didn't go. I even teared up with hugs.
I was glad though he was ready to go out when I got home to get something to eat. We both had to suck in the tears when Ricky prayed over our food & he said, "God, please let Sydney not miss us as much as we miss her"... we both just did that, tilt your head back so tears don't run out of your eye-kinda-move... oh mercy...
Heading home, Ricky said, this is what I hate the most. Going home to a house without her.
Its tough... but we survived the first weekend without her.
Ricky had fantasy football to keep his mind busy on Sunday.
I had knitting to keep me going. I keep saying its my therapy. I think God brought my knit loom into my life just in time for me to keep my hands & mind busy.
I've made 3 cowls since Wednesday trying to keep myself from thinking too hard, too much...
Ricky asked me if I'm making them for Christmas & I tell him, that was the intent... until I finished them & I want to keep them all :)
Everyone's been asking me how the dogs have been.
With Zoe, its hard to tell - she's such a loner & always sticks to herself.
Harvey - I think he's too ADD & hyper to notice... although this morning, he got in the spot Sydney laid on the bed & he just pouted there this morning. I couldn't get him to play... totally not like Harvey. I think he's realizing something is different....
Bruno is the one that shocks me. Sydney never really had anything to do with him & he just is sad. He just shakes & follows me around & if I stop, he claws at me, wanting me to hold him. I think he misses her presence... & I think he can feel our sadness.
But, as my life verse reminds me ... I look forward to what lies ahead.... we are pressing on. (Phil 3:13-14)
How was your weekend?
Did you make a play-doh baby?
What do you do to keep your mind busy?
I'm so sorry, again!ReplyDelete
Still praying for you guys.ReplyDelete
Which loom is the one in your picture.I've never seen one quite like that. Is that the Martha Stewart loom?
I bought a new loom this weekend. It's an oblong rectangle one that is smaller than the one I have. It think it will make it easier to make a scarf with. The one I'm currently using is really long and my yarn gets caught in it sometimes.
How in the world do you do it so fast? You've made 3? I'm still working on my 1st scarf. Of course, I didn't touch it this weekend, so maybe that's why it takes me so long. haha
Looks like the baby shower was a nice little distraction for you!! Hope you have a great Monday!ReplyDelete
Oh sweet friend. I am still so very sorry for your loss. I'm sure the baby shower was a nice distraction. I'm planning a baby shower for my baby cousin for January! I am having way too much fun with it.ReplyDelete
I'm praying for you guys. xo
Glad you got to spend some time with your cousin. I thought about you guys all weekend... I feel you on the gas, it's been $2.98 around here lately, even $2.93 at Sams. Amazing!ReplyDelete
There is nothing worse than going home to a house that is just *too* quiet. Praying for the both of you, all the time! Glad you were able to get out a bit and enjoy some of the weekend, it sure was a beautiful one :)ReplyDelete
How did I forget you had 2 blogs? I mean seriously! I hope things get easier this week for all of you! I can't wait to see your cowls, I love them!! And, your play-doh baby is amazing!!ReplyDelete
Love you, sweet friend!!! <3ReplyDelete
Oh. I'm so behind in my blog reading - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :( I can still remember with great detail the day our dog passed away. We had grown up with him and sometimes i still expect to see him at my parents house.ReplyDelete
Shower games of any kind are aerious business to me as well - I've never seen the baby out of play dough game though! Good job :)
Hope your week this week goes better :)
Oh no - I am so sorry for your loss :( Glad the shower provided a little bit of sunshine this weekend.ReplyDelete
Isn't it crazy how the animals miss each other, too? :/ They can sense it. I love that they made that ornament for you... how thoughtful!ReplyDelete
Sending you lots of positive vibes! So sorry to hear!ReplyDelete