We will play a game every now & then called "Would you Rather?" with the kids in the youth. The way it works, I ask a question & the kids try to figure out what I would choose. Some of the questions are pretty wacky, for instance - "Would you rather sweat from Humidity or exercise?" My response - always exercise! If you're going to sweat, it might as well be because you're doing something good. Humidity sweat is just horrible!.........Another example (& this is a weird one) - "Would you rather be executed by a firing squad or a guillotine?" My response - NEITHER! The boys always like the idea of a guillotine because they say you can probably still see for a few minutes after you're head is detached - leave it to boys to think of something like that. And that, by the way, is what swayed my answer to be firing squad.
One of the questions from last week was a question that got me & the girls talking. "Would you rather be slapped in the face or verbally abused by someone?"... When it we separated & it was just me & the girls alone, I asked them what they would have chosen - every one of them raised their hands for the same answer that I also gave - "To be slapped in the face" - WHY? I think as girls, we just are so sensitive to what people say & take it to heart. I gave them an example of why I chose that response since I have a few..ahem... years experience on them.
When I was about 17 years old, my best friend Stephanie (another Steph - I love my Stephanie's in my life!) & I were at a party. It was a great night - but by the end of the night, someone had started to make comments about me - I never even knew this person. My feelings got so hurt & I was ready to just get out of there. When all my friends heard what happened, they call came to my defense & that made me feel comforted & loved - but here we are, a few....ahem... years later, & I can still remember every word that person said about me.
A slap in the face - yeah, it stings - but its over with in a few minutes. Its something that is very forgettable - that sort of pain. Words - wow - the pain of them can sting & stick with you forever.
I think its interesting how the girls all choose the same thing - & these girls aren't "followers" - if they disagreed with someone - they would have said so. But when we were together as a group - the boys didn't even care - didn't even give it much thought as to what they would have chosen. It's just funny to see how we're wired differently.
So - be careful of the words you use - they can sting - they can hurt - they can stick with someone many years later & still sit in their mind & try to pry into their hearts. They can be a dangerous thing!
Excellent lesson... the bible calls the tongue a double-edged sword...and for good reason! It is one of the most powerful weapons that can be used. Middle school is a great time to learn to "fine tune" your usage of such a mighty weapon...and to understand that the old saying "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never harm me" is just another fairy tale... words can damage a person for life!!ReplyDelete
You guys are doing a great job with the youth...keep up the good work!
Gosh, we must have at been at almost the same party.ReplyDelete
I am married, 12 years, have 3 kids, 2 dogs and still remember comments made by a stranger. At the time I felt struck down, but now it just stings a little.