Monday, September 27, 2010

There is actually a 3 paddle!!!

So, the thing is, I'm addicted to Dancing with the Stars... should have my own set of paddles - but instead of judging, I get to live-blog it... so welcome, sit back & relive Week 2!!!

8:00 - "Last week your votes & the judges Hasseled the Hoff right out of the ballroom"... Its Monday & we're LLIIIIVVEEEEEEEE....

8:03 - Tonight, the stars will be taking on the Quick Step or the Jive ...

8:04 - "I get mistaken for Len all the time" -Rick Fox ... taking on the Jive tonight...which should be interesting with those long 7 foot legs

8:05 -"One thing Larry Bird told me as a rookie is 'Pros play hurt' - I gotta find a way to push through" -  Rick's tendon in his foot was injured during his basketball career...

8:08 - "If you can dance a jive, & you just did, you sir, are a contender" -Len ...(Oh yeah baby!!!!)

8:10 - I'm totally distracted by that horrible dress Brooke has one... it has napkin folds on the boobs.  Who thought that was flattering?

8:15 - "I want to be thought of as a contender, not as the 76 yr old who can actually walk" -Mrs. Brady Florence Henderson

8:16 - last week, we got Mrs. Brady cursing - this week, she's flipping the finger... everybody has a dark side, right?  Who knew dancing would bring it out of her.

8:20 - "I think there is another reality show coming with Len & Florence" -Tom.... I'd watch that!

8:26 - "Maks & I dont always see eye to eye" -Brandy... among cursing between the two.  The love-fest is over I guess in that dance hall...

8:28 - Brandy does some sort of Pussy Cat shake your booty solo... umm... is that the jive?  I though the jive was high knees & quick kicks & pointed toes - not shimmy & rump shaking....

8:30 - "Last week you took a step forward, this week you took a step back" -Len ... In which Brandy totally throws Maks under the bus... these two are going to kill each other...

8:37 - "I was terrified that our 2nd dance was the jive... but encouraged that it was to 'Aint nothing but a Hound Dog'"-Michael Bolton ... in which Chelsie is saying she's going to have him crawl out of a dog house on the stage?  Because you know how much Len loves props... (What are you thinking Chelsie?)

8:38 - Did Chelsie just let it slip that Michael Bolton was the 2nd from the bottom last week?  They didnt tell during eliminations... now we know, he may have a chance of going this week...

8:39 - I cant believe she actually had Michael Bolton crawling on his hands & knees out of a dog house... that's sad...

8:40 - Um... he was just standing there... not moving... Bye Bye Mr. Bolton... bye bye

8:41 "I think it needed a pooper scooper to finish it off" -Len

8:42 - Bruno holding up a 3 paddle... OUCH... The crowd is booing...again, OUCH!

8:48 "If you're just turning in, you just missed Len lecturing Bruno on how to be nicer... which I'm sure is a sign of the apocolypse" -Tom

8:49 - "I'm sacrificing everything for this show" -Audrina... we find out, by "sacrifice" - she's not seeing her boyfriend as much... um... ok...

8:52 - "The show pony is turning into Secretariat" -Bruno .... she really did look beautiful.  Any girl that can jump & down with her stomach exposed, she just made me jealous.

8:54 - They just showed a clip where Tony said, "If we dont land 3 "8's" - I'll wax my legs".... (come on, like he doesnt already?)... Carrie Ann - 8.... Len - 8... Bruno - 7!!!!!  There you go buddy... warm up the wax!  "I want to apologize to my wife" -Tony

8:55 - "We're going to hear Tony yell KELLY CLARKSON later" -Tom

9:00 - Brad Womack is back as the Bachelor... is the world so desperate of single men, we have to re-use the Bachelors?

9:01 - "We have to amp up the jive, without killing Jennifer" -Derek ... Jennifer Grey had neck surgery that doesnt allow for a lot of tricks... & not killing her would be nice...

9:03 - "That was WICKED" -Bruno... as Jennifer & Derek are on the ground getting their critiques... she really looked fantastic!  (I'm rooting for a Jennifer/Rick Fox finale!)

9:06 - Guess commentator Sarah Palin... who wont say she likes anybody because "Bristol the Pistol" hasnt danced yet... ahh, such a good mom!

9:07 - "Everyone used hand sanitizer after talking to me last week because they wanted to wash the LOSER off" - Margaret Cho.... (this may be my favorite statement of the night)

9:08 - "My goal is to show people I dont have to make jokes about myself - I can actually dance" - YES!  That's why I was shocked last week!  Show 'em Margaret!

9:22 - "Kyle & I made a deal that he wont be eating any fast food during the show" -Lacy... while Kyle Massey tells the camera behind her back he's already had 2 burgers... I love this kid!

9:23 - "If I dont mess up, it'll be the coolest, hippest, sexiest quick step of the night" ... "I need a burger" -Kyle

9:25 - "There's something about you... if you've got it, flaunt it, & you flaunt it!" -Carrie Ann

9:32 - "I've been booed by thousands of people before... one old guy from England, I can handle that" -Kurt Warner on last week's comments by Len

9:34 - "You remind me of that crazy uncle at a wedding that gets to much to drink & is all crazy" -Carrie Ann ...all the judges liked Kurt this week... I loved that he pretty much lip synced the whole song "Danger Zone" from Top Gun... who doesnt love a Kenny Loggins throw back?

9:42 -"You're like Miaygi with that thing" -The Situation to Karina as she pulls out a big stick to teach him the Quick Step

9:43 - "I'm actually enjoying kicking The Situations' a** - I dont think a lot of girls get to do that" -Karina

9:46 - "Thank you for not doing the fist pumps" -Carrie Ann .... "you're a little pigeon toed" ... didnt Carrie Ann see that on "The Soup" ... Joel McHale already pointed that out....

9:53 - We get to see Sarah Palin ask Mark - "How did she do that" & attempt to shimmy with a noise like "woo-woo-woo" ... ahh, I love Sarah Palin!  She's such a proud mom!!!

9:56 - "You remind me of Kelly Osbourne - there is something vulnerable & endearing" -Carrie Ann ...I completely agree...

9:57 - I love that Mark's dad grabbed him & kissed him when they came in the room... ahhh....

The leader is Jennifer Grey again... & the botton is Mr. Bolton ... bye bye Mr. Bolton... I'm not sure all the calls in the world can save him...

What did you think?  Was Lacy's dress with all that tulle the most hideous dress ever?  Did Audrina's remind you exactly of Melissa Rycroft's first dance dress?  Are you starting to pull a little bit for Bristol?  And is Rick Fox even MORE handsome this week then last? 

Let's talk some dancing folks!


  1. The problem with not actually watching the show and only reading your recaps is that I don't really have an answer to your follow up question. In which case, I will defer to your superior DWTS knowledge and say that yes the dress was horrible, and yes I will be pulling for Bristol (until you tell me differently).

  2. What an interesting evening! I don't think it was mind-boggling, by any stretch of the imagination.

    First off, can't we cover up the hostesses boobs a little more? I am getting tired of reaching toward the TV to help her tuck them in. Good gravy! At least you couldn't see her belly button this week! the dancing was f-a-i-r, with the exception of Jennifer Grey, who did an AMAZING job!!! Did you notice her legs? Wowsa!!! It's no wonder she got to dance with Patrick! She's a natural!!

    Now, I am getting tired of old women being on the show. What is up with that?

    She did look like she was having fun, so I've got to hand it to her.

    The judges were harsh tonight, but rightly so.

    Maks and Brandy...oh boy...I actually think he's doing a lot better than usual. She's got some 'tude and is really standing up for herself. Didn't like the dance much though...especially the solo.

    I like Audrina...think she's such a cutie pie!! Now remind is she famous again? I would have walked past her in the street without batting an eye.

    Oh, and Rick Foxx...hunky dude! I am so impressed with how he's pushing through the foot issue. Maybe I should take a page from his book and jump back on my treadmill.

    Karina and The Contender...or whatever his name is...blech. Surprisingly, I'm finding him more icky than her. That's saying a lot cause Rebecca knows how much I can't stand her.

    Chelsie and Michael - ugh. For such a good dancer, I am surprised at her choices. I think he'll be leaving. I would love for it to be him or Margaret, who I just cannot make myself like.

    Kurt and Anna - I think he did well. He's lovable. He'll get points for that.

    Bristol and Mark - She's okay...a little too stiff though. Girl has got to loosen up!!

    Kyle and Lacie - Love!!! He's so doggone cute! I'll bet he starts pushing Weight Watchers after the show. Bet he's gonna lose a ton of weight.

    I've gotta say that I'm not too enthralled with DWTS this season. We need them to pick up the pace!!

  3. I'm in love with Jennifer Grey. Just sayin'. Also you should know that I've made the effort to watch online solely because of your awesome recaps :)

    AND re: the Bachelor (b/c of COURSE I have an opinion) - lame choice. Nobody cared about Brad Womack when he WAS the Bachelor, nobody cares that he's still single. The show desperately needs new blood.

  4. Don't watch the show but you certainly make it sound interesting!

  5. Jennifer Grey is DA BOMB! She dances and looks fantastic! She and Derek make the perfect combinaton! Kurt Warner did really well last night, too! Sorry, but Michael Bolton has got to GO!

  6. I love your recap. You crack me up! I had to turn the channel when I saw Bolton crawl out of the dog house. Just couldn't go there.

  7. Just now getting around to checking out your synopsis from this week! Yep, Bolton is outta here! It was really hard to watch him! And, Bristol is actually doing a pretty decent job! LOVE Rick Fox & Kurt Warner on this show! They're doing a great job!

  8. I love Jennifer Grey! Did you see she's on twitter??


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