If you know me, you know the words "overwhelmed schedule" is part of my life. It's more then a part... its a LOT of my life.
I saw that quote above & instantly was on the hunt for this book. I've got it ordered & it should be here any day. I can't wait. I love Lysa Terkeurst so much anyways.
Why am I so busy? Well, for starters, I do work a full time job... & I do my photography.
It's crazy how things work out. I have always loved taking pictures - have always been obsessed with pictures. I have had cameras in my hands at all times growing up. Even the ones with the twist bulb flashes.... & I thought Polaroid instant developing pictures were like the most futuristic thing that was ever invented.
I can remember going to the little Kodak stores that sat individual in front of our grocery story. Asking the lady for certain film to go inside of the cheap camera I would get for Christmas. You don't give a 10 yr old anything but a cheap camera.
It had a drive through & when they would hand out the package that had developed pictures in it, it was like Christmas morning, every time.
& then it was always the worse when you paid for a package of 36 pictures & you see that only 2 or 3 are good pictures....
I always say I was the person that when someone would say, "Want to see our vacation photos?"... I was jumping with excitement while others would be groaning.
So it has been the biggest blessing to start taking pictures myself, getting more advanced cameras, learning techniques, learning the editing process.... pictures have come a long way - that's for sure....
People ask me when will I make that my full time job. Oh my - wouldn't that be the dream. I just read the book, "Let's all be Brave" & the whole time, I'm thinking, does God want me to step out into this & do this full time? But I have a full time job. & granted, it does get on my nerves some day, & I kick & scream when I have to get up at 5:30 Monday - Friday & I think everyone has that dream of having their own business. But I'm afraid. & Ricky & I talk about it all the time, & he just doesn't feel confident in it yet.
I mean, photography is a 'iffy' income.
Right now though, it IS a full time job though. I have been so blessed with it. I have a full schedule for 2014 with a waiting list & just yesterday, I had 5 more people trying to squeeze in. I am blessed. I'll say it over & over again.... I am blessed.
But I don't like when the blessing turns into a stress.
It's not the job that's a stress. I love it - I love capturing moments. I love meeting the people. I love giving people memories that last a lifetime.
The stress is time.
Pretty much right now, I'm doing 2 full time jobs.
& my life is taking a hit because of it.
I've got other things going on as well. My home. My family. Helping in youth ministry. Working out, or usually some kind of half marathon training (which if you never trained for a run, you have no idea the time dedicated to it - its sorta ridiculous).
I can't tell you how much I've missed out in because of doing 2 full time jobs.
I have missed my grandson's birthday parties.
I have missed my own father's last birthday.
I have missed my nephew's graduation.
I have missed a family reunion with family I haven't seen in at least 18 years.
& I see things that aren't getting full attention.
My time with my husband & family.
My time for myself to just relax... you don't know how much 'relaxing' means when you don't ever get to do it.
My time with God.
It's crazy how a busy schedule can affect everything around you... how it can affect important things that matter to you.
Can you do it all?... I don't know - I'd like to think you can... but I do know that when you try, something's not getting the full attention. & something has got to give.
& truth be told, if I wasn't busy, I'd probably pull my hair out.
So how to balance it all is the thing....
I've been praying about this. I've got Ricky praying about this. I'll ask for you to pray about this for me.
I need to learn how to get it all balanced... I need to listen to where God wants me to be... I need peace on all of this... I need to learn its OK to say no.
I feel so bad when I have to say no to clients who want to get in a photo session. But when I say yes to one thing, I'm saying no to something else...
I just want to do it all... who doesn't?
& this whole post? It's not to complain. I hope it doesn't sound like I am complaining about anything. Ok, maybe I am complaining about my dirty house. I'll always complain about that. I'll say it again - I am blessed.
I just needed to vent. To hear someone else tell me its ok to say no.
I tell Ricky the phone calls & emails I get & the list of things I need to do & he helps me sometimes try to figure it out on the calendar, & he is always the most supportive on everything I do.... & I told him one time, "You know, I think sometimes the best thing I think you can tell me is that its totally OK if I don't do it all."....
It's OK to say no... it's OK to look at your priorities & rearrange it... its OK ... the world isn't going to end.
I need to repeat that to myself all the time lately ....
I just know I can't wait to get my new book in "The Best Yes"
... & I hope I have time to be able to read it.....