Yep, I'm coming back as predicted - a litlte high, a little wild & a whole lot woozy!!!!! Ironically, the weekend topic was on Fear & every thing we did almost had my name marked with fear acrossed it! But standing there as an example to these kids - I was challenged like no other & I felt like I had to push myself further than I thought I could EVER go!!!
The dreaded "GIANT SWING"....oh my goodness! When I saw what it was - I said I would do it but I said I had to go second - go early & not watch everyone else - or I'd never do it - so Ryan was my partner & we harnessed up & did this! I still can't believe it! My first mistake was looking down on the first try - I instantly became afraid & told them to stop & we didn't make it to the top. You can see from the video - I was freaked out - I think you can actually hear me sobbing!!! But let me tell you - the cheers from the kids & my friends & leaders - it pushed me. So I went again for the second round! WE MADE IT TO THE TOP!!!! I was determined NOT to look down. I just kept looking at Ryan who just kept talking to me & telling me we were OK - it made a huge difference to change the focus. The drop - WOW - BIG! I have never in my life thought I would do that! And for the record, I'm yelling: 2 Timonthy 1:7 - which was our verse we focused on the night before:
"For God did not give us a spirit of fear & timidity, but of power, love & self-discipline."
And coming down - I couldnt hardly even stand up - my legs were trembling & shaking so bad - I had to instantly sit because I thought I would pass out! But all the kids just ran up & hugged me & that made it all worth it!
We also had some amazing team building exercises that were so neat to problem solve together & I just love our church family, our youth, our leaders, my friends - I think we are the BEST team together! But the end of the team building brought us to the dreaded High, wild, woozy!!!! You cant even imagine! You had to climb a ladder - & remind you, I dont even climb a ladder to change the light bulbs because they're too high - & from there -you have to climb up a tree that just had staples sticking out of them. THEN, you balance on a rope, & you lean on each other - the rope gets further & further apart where you have to lean in to keep each other pressed on it. I did NOT think I would do this. The climb scared me more than anything! I watched everyone else doing it & I just kept pumping myself up! Finally, I decided, I've got to try! I just kept thinking, if I leave & never TRY - how angry will I be - when will another opportunity come like this? I got harnessed in & Ryan ended up being my partner. Learning from the swing, I knew instantly not to look down - this was, they say 30 feet in the air - I believe it was like 100 ft - in my mind it was & believe me - that's how I looked at it.
(In the picture - see the ladder at the bottom - that's already high up - & you can see the wires at the top of the picture - that's how high up we had to climb! - I actually have a video someone is sending me of when I did this....)
I started out praying for the women who harnessed me in - seriously! She laughed at me! Then I stood at the ladder & felt like Rocky - shifting my weight back & forth & the kids & everyone just started yelling for me. Talking about encourgaement pushing you - man, nothing like it. I went off like a wild woman! I didnt look down ONE TIME!!! Ryan was actually at the top waiting for me & he told me to look up - I looked up & saw how far I still had to go & it freaked me out - I just kept my eyes forward on the tree - just the next level to go - that's all I needed to look at & you know what - before I knew it - I was at the top! The easiest part was going across the rope just because I just concentrated on my partner & working with him - looking into his eyes - trusting & focusing on something other than fear! We didnt make it as far as other teams - but we made it further than others & you know what - I made it further than I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt like I could conquer the world after that!!! Faling off the rope & just coming down, I felt so happy, relieved that I tried it - just proud of myself!
But let me tell you - the scariest thing came after all the kids went to bed. Just enjoying conversation & talking with my friends & leaders, I thought of what the guides told us throughout the day doing these challenges - how each thing we did during the day built up to the next, harder thing we did. Sitting around the camp fire & talking, we started getting into some wonderful Biblical discussions & next thing I know - I can feel the fear in me all over again. What kind of fear? I'm sitting on the ground - no harness needed (as attractive as they are!!) but the same fear that I felt walking up the tree was in my gut again. Why? Because it was just a time to be open & honest with people & things that we hold in, so fearful of what others think, or how others will look at you - it all came to a head. I thought, I've been through the most fearful events of my life today & I DID IT! I pushed myself further than I ever thought I could. Now, I'm faced with a spiritual fear - do I trust people? Do I open myself? Do I put myself out on the line? Let me tell you - I kicked FEAR's BUTT that day! I had probably some of the best conversations ever & heard the most comforting & needed prayer that I ever needed to hear in my life. I can honestly say, this was probably one of the greatest weekends I have ever had in my life!!!!
And let me tell you - these kids - we have some amazing kids in our church! For them to be so encouraging & some of them at their age, so willing & eager to know God - awesomeness right there! The prayers that some of these kids say will melt your heart! And we even had a fellow 7th grader who led a devotion during campfire time - he is a preteen & let me tell you - words he said made all the leaders even think & inspired us! These are the type of kids we ahe - some amazing God-FEARING kids!
I honestly sit here now & reflect over it & still can't believe the things that happened! This is one of those events that words can not & could not describe the experience!
Friendships were built, other friendships were strengthed, trust was given ......let me tell you - fear met its match when it met us this weekend!
I encourage you - if there is a fear in your life - face it - conquer it! 2 Timothy 1:7!!!! And the funny thing I found out - it doesnt have to be a fear of something like heights or bugs - a fear of opening up & sharing or being yourself to people can be just as scary! Like I shared with the kids & I keep telling myself - everyday, push yourself - surprise yourself with what you can do! Don't let fear be a factor to you!!!!
Oh & for the record - Yes I came home with only one bruise!!!! ( No applause needed!!!) But that is from hugging the Giant Swing rubber pad so hard, my arm got caught on the wire. I didnt care - I WASN'T LETTING GO!!! And I know this is long - but I have to say - the reason I came away with so many less bruises than I'm capable of - the people with me! I had SO MANY people looking out for me - holding my hand down slippery slopes, (Thanks Joe!), carrying my things for me & walking with me (Thanks Erica), making me walking sticks & going way out of the way to take an easier slope (Thanks Patrick), giving me a cabin that didnt have steps that I would have EASILY tumbled down (Thanks Jeremy) - so many people did just small things that all added up to taking care of me - & I have to tell you - that right there just made my weekend!!!!
And FINALLY ! I have to show you what I came home to - driving down the road, I see on our mail box a balloon that says "Welcome Home" from my hubby! And I pull up & see our yard is all mowed, & freshly manicured & just looks awesome (I've been asking that for awhile) & I walk in & get another balloon with a card that says "We missed you" from my hubby & all the doggies!
See what I'm talking about - probably one of the greatest weekends ever!!!
I'm so excited for you. And I'm glad you didn't break yourself.ReplyDelete
I agree it was one of the most amazing weekends ever!! I am so proud of you! It is so awesome how much we all grew in so many different ways. I wish everyone could expierence this feeling! There is nothing you can't do now!ReplyDelete
This experience was truly one of the greateset I've had to improve my spiritual walk with God. It was great!ReplyDelete
P.S. You did an outstanding job in defeating your fears!
I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!ReplyDelete
Awww, That sounds like the most awesome weekend ever!! So, now that you have conquered all those fears, how's about a tiny little airplane ride???? Isaac will cheer you on the whole way. He knows how to say "Nana" now. I'm sooooo proud of you, you have no idea. I never thought you could or would do the things you did. Way to go! And way to go Dad!! How sweet was he?!ReplyDelete
I knew you could do it!!ReplyDelete
Wow, what a great weekend! Thanks for visiting my blog and for the great advice.ReplyDelete
Glad you came away from your weekend with only a bruise! Glad you had a wonderful time, both physically and spiritually. Isn't our God good to provide us with times like that!! Thanks for all your amazing comments on my blog. You are such an encouragement!!!!! :)ReplyDelete
Hey! Thanks for the comment on my blog! I'm glad you had such a great weekend! I loved seeing the videos!ReplyDelete