Tuesday, December 21, 2010


Yesterday was an INSANE kinda day...it gave the defintion of what a "Monday" is.  I had to work late but when I left, I needed to run over to my grandfather's house.  I dont really stop to think about it, but I'm very lucky to have my grandfather still around. He'll be 90 years old in July... applause for my Paps!

It's always funny to talk to him... he's kinda scattered brained.  I dont know if its because of age, or its just a family gene because I know when I talk, I can be a tad scattered brain myself.... (No comments about that please) :)

He's talking about Teenie (my grandmother who has been with Jesus for 13 years now), dating since she's passed away (which cracks me up when I give my grandfather dating advice), family updates on how everyone is doing, looking at pictures of all the grandchildren when we were little... that house holds lots of memories.

Something else that holds memories?  My Pap's mind... & sometimes, those memories arent pleasant.  Paps was in World War II & he served overseas in Europe.  Stories he tells just give me chills - stories of driving tanks in pitch black wondering if they were going to explode, stories of his feet being so frost bitten that they thought they would have to ampute, storie of his kidney's not working, stories of his war buddies &  how he returned home without some of those buddies since they lost their life in battle...

Not all memories are good memories... some can really haunt, can't they?

My Paps when I grew up was a ... how do I say it... I guess I can say he was a "Man's man" - I dont want to say he was "Hard" but he wasnt really affectionate, not a lot of hugs & "I love you's" - he was funny & could make a KILLER breakfast, but he was just a Man's Man...

I only saw my grandfather cry when we saw my grandmother for the first time at the funeral home....

And then last night, he was telling me how he's having such bad flashbacks & memories of the war.  He said when he opens his eyes, its like he's there, reliving it, seeing it - like he can reach out & touch things that he saw in the past... & then he put his head down & his face just fell down & tears just came to his eyes & he just started sobbing....

I told him when this happens he needs to focus on the fact that he came HOME from the war & he's had many fantastic memories since then... but I know those words are much easier said then done.

Driving home, I thought about how we all have some sort of haunting memories.  Decisions you wish you didnt make, things that happened to you that you wish never did,  the road you wish you took instead of the one you went down... "if you could do it again" kinda memories...

It scared me a bit to see that after all these years, my grandfather was still being haunted by these things... would my "haunted memories" hold that much power over me when I'm 90?  Do yours hold that much power over you?

Its moments like that is where I am even more convinced I need Jesus... to hand those memories over to Him - for Him to ease my mind, to find peace, to see that God takes anything & everything & makes it work for the good of those who love Him... it made me remember that when memories of the past can wear us down, that Jesus has come for the weary & who carries heavy burdens & exchanges it for rest...

I pray that if anything is haunting you, sitting in your memory, that you too find some sort of peace today in Jesus...

God is our refuge & strength, always ready to
help in times of trouble
-Psalms 46:1


  1. This is lovely. I definitely have things that pop up every now & then, but nothing as scarring as your grandfather's memories. For many of mine I think that I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't taken that wrong road. I probably would never have met & married Dr. M. So I look kindly on that shiftless girl & her bad choices...

  2. P.S. I'm posting my Christmas poem either today or tomorrow. I give you a little shout out for your reach out your hand homily - although the poem didn't turn out how I expected.

  3. I'm only haunted by the mistakes I've made... You were above me at SITS today. Merry Christmas!

  4. my heart goes to your grandfather.. He is such an amazing man..

  5. Bless his heart. My grandfather struggled with those thoughts too. I needed that scripture today

  6. Memories can be tough sometimes. I hope your grandfather finds peace from his bad memories and joy in his precious memories.

  7. Amen and thank you.
    I definitely needed to read this today.

  8. God love him. I would've never thought those memories would be so alive after all those years.


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