Erased them all
I honestly dont even know what to say about this weekend.
I sat this weekend & watched the news till the middle of the night of my own town being vandalized - fires set, buildings painted with hate words, people stealing, people threatening one another, spitting in others faces, saying hateful words to each other. I saw tear gas clouds, & rubber bullets being fired off. I saw National Guard vehicles riding down the streets that I walk every day at work.
Then I saw it play out again the next day & the next.
& I saw it playing out in other cities across the US.
I read Social Media & saw everyone's reactions of things happening in their own town or opinions of what is happening across the country.
& I see all the rage. All the pain... all the hurt.
I watched it all this weekend & was furious with the cause of why this happened. Furious with the people that took the steps from protesting to criminal acts of violent. I was disgusted. I was saddened. I was shocked. I was frustrated. I felt hopeless. I felt my anxiety rising on TOP of the COVID anxiety because ALL THE CLOSENESS.... Then I even felt guilty because I turned off my TV & I got back to my life - & I felt strangely GUILTY about that. Its like that meme "This is fine"
... this feels like real life right now. Because NOTHING is fine right now.
Basically, very little in 2020 has been fine.
I have so many thoughts - I know we all do...
I cant even get into how I'm feeling because I'm not even sure HOW to put my emotions in words.
But here is the things I do know....
... There is a different between protesting & rioting. Destroying your town accomplishes nothing. You've just hurt people that are in agreement with you. You are hurting innocent people. People who are just trying to survive. Turning things into violence accomplishes absolutely nothing.
... There are bad cops... but there are more good cops. - just as there are good people & bad people - you can't group everyone in one category because of the actions of a few.
... more than anything - this is what I know the most of all.... if you have a heart - if you are breathing air - YOU ARE A HUMAN BEING - a CHILD OF GOD - His creation - someone who should be respected - treated fairly - you deserve nothing less than equality with others around you - that goes for every race, every sex, every age, every religion. One should not be above the other. Period. Jesus loved EVERYONE... as a Christian, that is my stance above all the emotions that I'm feeling.
Right now, all I know to do in times where things feel helpless & out of control is to pray.
Praying for healing for our country
Praying for people to learn where they have failed - for peaceful discussion with LISTENING ears & more than that, with open hearts.
Praying for Justice for those who have been killed in the name of discrimination
Praying for God to move - & that I, along with so many that have the same prayer - be a vessel that God will use to show only love, care, concern & a compassionate heart with others.